"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" … ever heard this phrase before? Its often trotted out to explain why today's 21st century guy is less likely to get married. It not a lie - the promise of intimacy is a powerful incentive however, it is pretty irrelevant in modern society.
The unflattering 'cow' analogy suggested the following - women 'have' the 'option' to have sex . Some girls give that option away for free. Other girls hold onto their 'option' choosing to invest it until they meet a guy who is willing to trade something that he has for it.
So then we have to ask…what does a guy 'have'? Well, our grandmothers would tell you that he has income - he brings home the bacon (yet another farm animal analogy) while his wife cooks it. Now, many women are bringing home in salary as much as their man. In a society that screams equality, even though it doesn't quite always live up to that dream, suggesting that the male of species offers financial security is like trying to convince the cow to buy milk I guess.
Women no longer get married for a solid financial future. We don't need 'looking after' in an economic sense. Most of us can do it all by ourselves.
So if our bank balance will remain healthy with or without a guy - why do we get married? Is it an archaic practice of patriarchal oppression? And if even if she does save her option until she finds a guy willing to commit isn't she still given it away for something that has no value to her anymore?
Here at ReclaimingPink we want to suggest a completely different approach to the milk, the cow, the bacon… in fact we are just about to reject any funky farm animal analogy.
Women don't 'have' the option to be intimate. In today's 21st century world we can escape the economic style trading game. While some argued that our 21st century advances therefore make sex mean less, I want to argue that those same advances could allow us to make sex mean more.
What if intimacy was an expression of something - it was an act that naturally flowed from a certain type of meaningful significant relationship. He doesn't 'get' sex because he 'gave' something. A couple is intimate because it naturally flows from the serious, committed, respectful, loving [insert your own important adjectives here] relationship that they have. I'm a big fan of the marriage thing but that's for another blog.
Freedom and liberation should allow us to lead better more meaningful lives and have better more meaningful relationships - no cows, no milk and plenty of money. Now we are free to choose and the more meaningful the choice is the more meaningful the act becomes. Sex can mean far more for us than ever before… but only if we choose it.
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