Do You See Me?

4 years ago

It’s not a question of “What are we doing?” or “Are we dating?” or even, “Are you sleeping with anyone else?” It’s only this: “Do you see me?”

Because as much as I want to know him, I want to be known. Whether we drift apart in a few weeks or get married on some green hillside without shoes, my desire remains the same.

Why spend time with someone? Why strip down? There’s no point to those actions if you aren’t willing to be seen, or to see. Spend time with yourself, then. Touch your own dick. It’s way easier and no one has to get stuck riding the subway at 1:30 in the morning.

I finally figured out my uneasiness around him last night. He tells me things; stories, details, what he’d like to do in the future, but his words always seem to stop just before revealing something soft.  They’re little cold.  There’s just the tiniest hint of distance...

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