Dear Orgasm

4 years ago

Dear Orgasm-

First let me say, that I love you, and I wish you would come home.  Its been awhile since i’ve felt you burst into my being, and give me that blissful “AHHHH” feeling that I love. I feel the difference since you’ve left: my back isn’t nearly as flexible, my bones crack, and my mood leaves much to be desired.

I know, Orgasm, that I left you alone for quite some time. I hope you understand, that I realize how rare you are for most women (and that really is a shame), but I just needed to focus on things that, were, quite frankly, more important than you. When I did strive to experience you again, you came right back. My old friend, Orgasm.  I met you often, and we were great together.

But now Orgasm, we will have to figure other ways of seeing each other. Somehow I believed that I would see you on a regular basis, once I got into a relationship. That plan has been changed, and though I want to be with him very much, not seeing you is torture.

So Orgasm, I am asking you one favor, and one favor only: Don’t be stubborn. I know how you prefer to arrive...with a man in tow..slowly, but not too slowly, fast, but not too fast. Unfortunately, now you’ll have to arrive through stimulating packages or even I will bring you myself. Neither of us want to prolong these experiences, so, come quickly. Please be on time for our dates.  I would like to see you soon, especially since you’ve been ALL OVER town. I hear you arriving in the apartment above. I hear all about your travels in my music, I read it in my books, I even see it on my tv. Sometimes you even visit me in my dreams, and it frustrates me to find that you aren’t really there.

Orgasm, I have said all this, and I still miss you. I will miss you until you return to me. You can visit as much as you like. I just want you to come back. Also, when you do bring the boy that you always have in tow, make sure you visit both of us, he’ll like that.



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