Dating - Bah!!!

3 years ago

I believe in Fairytales. I believe in relationships. I believe every pot has a lid. I don’t believe in dating.

Why? Because it’s stressful and awkward and stilted and a waste of my time. Not that I’m so busy I can’t fit dating in… no… that’s not it. I am not interested in dating, and therefore it becomes a chore.

I pull a lot of guys up short by saying, “I don’t date. I DO however have burgers and fries with friends.” In other words… I would LOVE to go out to eat with them, but it should be some place low key and easy. Simple, enjoyable conversation… and I pay for my own meal. OK… sometimes I let that last part slide, it depends on who the dining companion is.

Some people say I don’t look my age… and that really becomes a problem when trying to date. Most potential suitors are about 10 to 15 years my junior. As not to create an embarrassing situation, I thank them profusely, try to guess their age, then tell them I am most likely closer to their mother in age than themselves.

I can hear you all now… “What’s the problem with that? You should have gone out with them.” Well… I’ll tell you… I threw caution to the wind one time and DID go out with a younger guy. It was boring… with a capital B! We had absolutely NOTHING in common. Conversation became difficult after an hour… even for ME.

One guy asked me out just because he couldn’t believe I would say yes. We met via an online service. I didn’t pay for the upgrade and had no idea what he looked like. His emails were nice, he sounded educated… his phone conversation was entertaining and interesting… so we met for coffee. Really nice guy! He was astonished that I agreed to meet him without seeing a photo. I explained looks weren’t that important to me… it’s what’s on the inside that matters, and of course how you treat me. I thought we hit it off well. I Never heard from him again.

Apparently I attract married men. After a long conversation one day with a nice guy, he asked me out. “Um… aren’t you married?” I asked.

“Yes, I am. My wife and I have an agreement,” he replied.

“Oh. Does SHE know that?”

One friend asked if I have been on any dates lately. I replied, “No. Just dinner with some friends.” He then asked, “Were these friends guys?” To which I replied, “Yes.” He howled in laughter and said, “Darlin’, that’s what you call a date!” I didn’t tell him all the guys were just friends in the true sense of the word. They are all married… which in my world means HANDS OFF.

Well meaning friends say, “I have the PERFECT guy for you.” Trust me… you don’t.

I am NOT a one night stand kind of girl. I know some guys don’t like that… but I don’t care. My kids were raised to that high standard… and I follow my own advise. I’ve fought my way out of enough tough situations I should earn a heavyweight title belt. To me ‘dating’ doesn’t mean jumping in to bed… it means getting to know each other. As I said to one guy… “If that’s all you want, get a hooker. I’m not your girl.”

I know it sounds like I’m picky… and I guess I am. I would like someone to share my life… to have an honest relationship. All the good, bad, and baggage. I want someone to bring me chicken soup when I have a cold, or bring home a bouquet of flowers for no reason. I want to create a special surprise dinner for him after a hard day; or give them a back rub when they are tense. I want someone to tell me I’m wrong, and take the time to calmly explain why. I want someone who will always answer the phone when I call; make sure I eat when engrossed in a project, and broaden my world, as I will his. I want someone to lean on me when they can’t stand on their own. I want that electric shock that goes through your body when he grabs your hand. I want the fairytale.

So… although dating is certainly worth it’s gold in entertainment value, and I understand that you have to date in order to ever THINK you will end up in a relationship… I still would rather stay home.

The old saying of, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming” hangs in the back of my head. You know what? I’ve already kissed Prince Charming. I don’t want to kiss any more frogs.

I plan to continue to live in my fantasy world, in my glass castle. If Prince Charming comes knocking at my door… I promise I will answer.

Deb Hathaway


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