There I was, innocently watching "The Lincoln Lawyer." I was busy working while watching. I was, in fact, organizing my homeschool materials for next year. I was feeling pretty good about being so far ahead of schedule. I was thinking about our country's great government, and how I was going to teach my children all about it next year.
Image Credit: The Great Courses
All of a sudden, Matthew McConaughey took off his shirt. What the hell? I did not need this gratuitous nudity. It completely sidetracked me. How can anyone think about the American constitution when Matthew McConaughey has his shirt off?
Image Credit: Real TV Films via Flickr
That's when it hit me. This is what's wrong with America. We women have embraced our sexuality. The men no longer have an exclusive on thinking about sex. We think about sex, too. It's rather distracting, this physical need. It can make a person completely lose focus.
Image Credit: Jaclyn Diva via Flickr
When my husband was deployed, I was good for the middle three months. That first month after he was gone was rough. The last two months were hell. I could barely focus on anything. It didn't help when, about a week before his return, I spent 3 hours talking about sex with an extremely sexual man and a gorgeous woman. Talk about self torture. What was I thinking? Oh, that's right. I wasn't.
And, when did all the women I know decide it's okay to talk about erotica on Facebook? I don't really <i>care</i> to know that my child's teacher is reading "Shades of Grey." I'm happy for you, really. I don't care what you read. In fact, I am going on record as wholy endoursing the reading of erotica as a way to keep your marriage bed hot, but I don't want to know!
Image Credit: Munfitness
We all know that women are the real power in the world. If we could just figure out a way to button our sexuality back up, we could solve all the world's problems. We might even figure out how to genetically engineer the dragon's of Pern, which would put my son over the moon. And speaking of kids, if I happened to have child with Matthew McConaughey, the poor kid would have uncontrollable hair.
Image Credit: Daily Makover
Have you seen his hair? I know, most of you are still stuck on his chest. And that's okay. I say imbrace your sexuality. I know I am. I'll think about school at another time. Bring on the bare chests! And if the planning isn't done by September, I'm blaming Matthew McConaughey.
More from love