Sex is a delicate, vulnerable exchange. You're sharing together at a very deep level. There is always risk, and always consequences. The more mindfully you approach your conduct toward your partner, the more fulfilled you will both be, transcendent of your level of commitment. No one wants to be a treated like a piece of meat, used like a toilet.
Some people use sex like some jerks use getting drunk; an excuse to abandon decent behavior toward others and selfishly self-indulge. Other make excuses: "I don't want to give the wrong impression. It's not like I want to be involved with them". Or "It's just recreational", "I didn't make any promises", "I don't want them clinging to me".
"He was inside me , I opened from my core. Then he got right up and walked out the door with a casual 'later'. I felt humiliated
and shattered". ~ Lorainne
"I did everything I could to give her a great oral orgasm. She stretched like a satisfied cat - and then rolled over and went to sleep while I lay there frustrated, feeling stupid and unwanted". ~Jorge
"When I took off my clothes, he looked mover and evaluated my body; nice ass, breasts too small, belly not toned enough. I didn't feel like the parts of me which he didn't approve of were worth touching. In fact, that's just what I felt like: body parts. Like I'd been butchered". ~ Beryl
You needn't be committed, in love, or any more emotionally involved than you wish to be. You're completely entitled to your boundaries and limitations - as long as you're honest. But if you partner with another person sexually, to owe it to them -and yourself- to be respectful and care-taking of each others body and spirit. To give the best of yourself that you can. You owe it to the relationship, however fleeting it's nature, to do no harm.
If you can't do these things, you're using another person an objectified sex-toy: masturbate instead! Then you can be as self-centered and self-indulgent as you want. That's fine.
But don't kid yourself about partner sex: you are always responsible for your actions. They always have consequences - always. It has nothing to do with love or commitment; it summarizes the state of your personhood, and whether or not you're ready to share intimacy with another.
Cradle each others heart's gently.
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