The Confrontation

6 years ago

The day finally came when I decided to confront her.

I had prepared myself for the worst. I armed myself with the knowledge that I would walk away from this without any acknowledgment of responsibility. I knew that she would not be remorseful or apologetic. I knew that the only thing that I would be walking away with would be my dignity; and that was all that I needed. I would be leaving behind my former best friend and what was left of an already broken heart. But I would walk away stronger and empowered to move on and start the next process of my recovery.

I was prepared for her to not accept responsibility, but I was not prepared for what came out of her mouth. She lied like a guy. She lied and followed the pattern of a perpetrator caught red-handed; she denied, denied, denied. She denied EVERYTHING. She denied asking me the awful question if she was a good lay for my husband; she denied participating in any illicit behavior with my husband; she denied keeping any truths from me. Even when I nailed her with details of her indiscretion that only she and my husband were privy to, she continued to deny it vehemently and explosively.

Aside from continuing to lie to my face, she hit me with a barrage of horrible expletives. She also called me crazy; she called me a liar; she assured me that she was never attracted to my husband. She told me that I was delusional and that I needed therapy. She said that she actually felt sorry for my husband because I was clearly out of my mind. Then, she even complimented him. She said to me, “You are crazy and need to get help. You are married to a good man.”

I replied, “Yes, I know that he is a good man. He is a good man who made a bad mistake. But at least he was man enough to admit to making his mistake and trying to make amends for breaking my heart.”

I was amazed at my strength. I did not waver. I did not buckle. I did not give in to emotion.

During her litany of name calling and lies, I remained calm. I gave her every opportunity to come clean. I calmly told her “I know the truth. You should just stop the lying right now. All you are doing is making it that much harder for me to even consider talking to you ever again. You are adding layers of reasons why I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

She spewed more hateful name calling and ultimately told me to go fuck myself. I glared at her. She suddenly turned away and walked off. If only she would have stopped the lies for one moment and tried to apologize or admit that she was wrong, or that she even did anything wrong, then maybe, just maybe, one day, we could try to rebuild our relationship. But she didn’t. She has closed that door.

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