Does having options of who to date make us feel good about who we choose or make us indecisive of who to choose?
We live in a land of opportunity; a land of choices. You have a choice of how and where to get our groceries, a choice of which of the 300 TV stations to watch, an infinite choice of music and multimedia at our fingertips…even a choice of hair color, eye color, and body type. We have a lot of options and our options are increasing every day. With that increase of options, we also have many options of people to date and ways to find those people. With the introduction of online dating and social networking within the last 10 years, it seems people are becoming more indecisive about whom they want to be with and if that person is right for them…
Even once we start dating someone, we are always wondering whether this is the perfect person for me or if there is someone better out there. So what ends up happening is that we let “little” things erode our relationship and end up breaking up in pursuit of something better…
…Once we are broken up, if it takes a while for that “something better” to come along, we start to doubt the decision we made to break up. Also, around this time, loneliness starts to set in. So then we are doubtful and lonely—these factors alone cause us to call up our exes and eventually get back together…at least until the next thing happens that causes us to want to break up again.
On and on it goes—this cycle of indecision. I am extremely guilty of demonstrating this behavior. My boyfriend and I have broken up twice since we’ve been together. Now, I must admit, both times we broke up, it was for a reason. BUT honestly, the first time we got back together, we shouldn’t have. It was too soon—nothing had changed. But we were lonely and were not confident with our decision to break up—we were indecisive.
So what I’m learning is that although there are a lot of options, there may only be ONE best option for each person and if the person you are with doesn’t feel like the “best” option—make a decision…LEAVE.