“Natasha Alexandra Uspensky and Khashayar Jonathan Parkhideh are to be married Sunday evening at the de Seversky Mansion, an event space on the campus of the New York Institute of Technology in Old Westbury, N.Y. Rabbi Andy Bachman is to officiate.
Yup, you read it correctly. Both the bride and groom are changing their last names to a hyphenated combination of the two. Makes perfect sense, right? Marriage is a union of two equal parts. Then why do I just feel kind of icky about the whole thing?
I took my husband's last name. I personally felt like it brought us together as one family unit. And looking ahead, I knew that I wanted my children to have the same last name as me. My employer at the time had no problem switching to my new name. New business cards and new name plate on the door - done. I actually never thought twice about it. To me, it was just another part of the whole "getting married" thing. Buy a dress, book a hall, say "I do", go on a honeymoon - change your name.
But my sister kept her maiden name. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because we come from a family of three daughters so she felt an obligation to keep the family name going. Or perhaps it was because she is a lawyer and professionally she was known by her maiden name. But, personally, I find it a bit odd that she has a different last name than her children.
Which brings us to the Uspensky-Parkhideh's. Problem solved, right? Neither one has to give up their identity. Both get to keep their family name and feel like they are part of a cohesive family unit. If they have children, everyone will have the same last name. It sounds so right. But why does it just feel so wrong?
Do you know a groom who has taken on a hyphenated version of his and his wife's last name? Would you do it? Do you think it's the wave of the marital future? I wish I could say "I do" - but I just don't.
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