There was a Valentine's Day, not too long ago, when I was miserable. I was new to a big city, I was lonely, and I didn't want to be single. I vividly remember glowering in an elevator as my current crush - who wasn't remotely interested in me - got on and rode up 11 floors with me. I was a hurricane of anger and frustration inside that I tried desperately to keep to myself.
Part of me wishes I could go back and shake that girl out of it, but you know what? No. Because sometimes - single or coupled - life sucks. And sometimes the suck hits Valentine's Day. And if it's that bad for you, you what? Just feel it. Be miserable. Maybe this is that year for you. It's OK. It happens. And it will pass.
Since then, I've had Valentine's Days with dates, Valentine's Days with breakups, Valentine's Days with friends, and Valentine's Days with just me. Mostly, and usually, I am all about having some fun on Valentine's Day. And yes, you can have a happy Valentine's Day when you're single. You can celebrate a day that's all about love.
Yes, you can.
Love yourself, love your friends, love life - no matter how you're feeling about it right now. Hang up some hearts, wear some red, give some flowers (to someone else or yourself!), eat a treat. Not everyone enjoys the same things, but think about what you love, and then see if you can have a little of that on Valentine's Day. Let it be easy and casual.
There are some great ideas in this eHow article from ReuseItAll, How to Celebrate Valentine's Day if You are a Single Woman:
Valentine's Day is a day that we celebrate love! If you are a single woman you can still celebrate Valentine's Day! Why not think of fun ways to show LOVE to YOURSELF and to the people around you? Valentine's Day does not have to be JUST for couples!! Here are some terrific ways to celebrate Valentine's Day if you are a single woman!!
Reason No. 2 Valentine's Day sucks: All of a sudden, everyone who is single decides they want to complain about it. I know that glittered hearts patronize everyone at every store, but that doesn't give anyone the right to be grumpy. The day is intended to celebrate love, and not just the romantic kind. There is nothing wrong with being single because you're not the only one. Someone loves you, even if it is only your mom. So you want to wear black to make some grand point about how upset you are that you're single and how you hate the idea of Valentine's Day? Original. That's attractive and uplifting. I wonder why you are single when you are beaming with such positivity?
And then she shares this key bit of wisdom: "What makes a good Valentine's Day is doing what you want to do, not what you are expected to do." EXACTLY!
And Have a Happy Valentine's Day.
Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.