Can I Get a Bite?

9 years ago

Let's face it, the economy sucks, and American waistlines are
continuing to enlarge. As a result, my husband and I have vowed to
share entrees when we go out to eat.

(As a side note, I'm convinced that servers at restaurants secretly
hate us. After we order and say that we're going to share our entree,
they always look at us annoyed and sigh as they take the menus away.
I'm thinking that they're assuming the tip will be low, but it's not. I
always over tip when my husband and I split a meal.)

So anyway, I'm curious...Are there any other couples out there who
routinely share their food? I ask because I've discovered a BIG problem
with sharing food with my husband...For every 10 bites he takes, I only
get one.

You see, when I take a bite, it's small enough to fit into my mouth
comfortably. I'm able to chew a couple of times, taste the food as it
hits my tastebuds, swallow, take a breath and then reach for another

Now when my husband takes a bite, it's about three times the size of
mine, sometimes so big that pieces of food wind up falling back onto
his plate before it makes it to his mouth. I swear, my husband's never
chewed anything a day in his life. The food goes in his mouth, and he's
reaching for another forkful within tenths of a second. Let me put it
this way, if you were to Google "inhaling your food," a picture of my
husband would be number one in the search results!

Clearly, this is a problem--Especially when we're sharing something
in particular that I love eating, such as french fries, sushi, chips
and salsa, cookies (yum, cookies)...OK, yeah it's a problem because I
love ALL food.

Aside from jamming my fork into the top of his hand when he reaches
for the last bite, what's a married girl got to do in order to get a
little bit of food?!?!

NOTE: This is cross-posted on the Clueless Newlywed Blog.

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