Being married and getting naked.

3 years ago

   Oh marriage... That one word that makes us or breaks us.  Just for my curious amusement I looked up marriage from the number one encyclopedia source.  Wikipedia. (Insert your "That is not a credible source site" face here please.)  Well, I looked it up because I wanted to be enlightened, but the definition alone confused me.  So I moved along.  Marriage is a contract between spouses ultimately the contract can be voided by divorce.  Again, moving along, to the point.

   I am married; I have been married for four years... Stop right there, do not pass go and judge me on my newly married life.  I know some couples have been together forever. Yeah. Congrats.  Anyway, I have noticed that my husband and I usually have a huge fight around the middle of the year for the past years.  It has turned into an annual event that I have to keep up with.  Hopefully it ends next year, but let us not get ahead of ourselves.  I wont mention what kind of fight we had or what started it; just know that it is his fault for not making right choices.  It is my fault for being really emotional.  Done... Both at fault.  Problem fixed? Sure, but as a wife who thinks of the funniest ways to get back at him, I do the following: 

Day 1. First day of fighting I dramatically leave the house and have him watch the kids. 

        Yes, mom time... The funny thing is I would drive off and park in a corner and figure out what the heck am I going to do?! I did not plan my dramatic exit out of the house.  So I plan it sitting in the car.  I am not hungry so no go on the restaurant plan, I don't think I need any more clothes, so no go on shopping.... AHA! I got it I want to watch a movie that I know he would never watch, so I go see a chick flick about a movie on self recognition and break ups! Perfect!  After the movie I glance at my phone, surprise, surprise, it is a text from the hubs saying, "Please come home." I go home, go straight to the room and lock the door.  He knows not to follow; he just got yelled at hours before.  I hear him getting the kids to bed while I put on a movie and not go to sleep.  He touches the doorknob and knows that the couch is calling his name.  I hear him go to the couch while I secretly sneak off to kiss the kids goodnight. James Bond status. 

Day 2. Plan a spontaneous day by finding the tiniest errand to run and meeting up with a close friend. 

    I wake up the next morning knowing my husband is off that day, so I make a list of things I have been meaning to do without my kids.  Deliver the letters to the dental office, return clothes to H&M, and meet up with one of my best friends while returning the clothes.  Genius. Out of the house again, I am on my own! I find my babies and kiss them whispering, "I'll be back baby." Terminator style. My husband asks where I am going, well no fluffy stuff, I tell him where I am going.  Errands, no you guys don't need to go with me.  I reach my destination and meet up with my best friend.  We have lunch, talk about life, and talk about how marriage is driving me nuts.  Don't get me wrong, I love marriage... But I don't like it all the time.  Note that time with a friend really helps get things out.  Now, I have a degree in counseling so I know that even counselors need people to talk to.  Can't keep my cool all the time.  Time flies by and before I know it, it is nighttime.  My husband made dinner and he sits with me while I am eating. Yes, we do talk... Yes, he gets to sleep in our room... No, he does not get to cuddle.  If you catch my drift. 

Day 3. Keep busy, go to the gym, and sleep NUDE!

   "Are you going to be mad at me forever?!" No husband should ever say that to a wife who has forgiven him secretly.  I was not mad, I was just secretly playing hard to get. (Just roll your eyes already men.) After putting the kids to bed, I begin to talk about how he hurt my feelings and how he never listens to me.  He had bought me roses, an apology card, and had placed it on my side of the bed.  My heart melts, but I look at him not giving up my cool and strip my clothes. I put a pillow border between us and explain to him that I am going to sleep naked, don't pass this border, and don't touch me.  He turns over and tells me that I am mean and if I want to buy anything.  I know exactly where he is going but I turn over, I can feel his breath pass the pillow border to my neck.  No go sir, no go.  He grunts and turns over... I am giggling inside.  Best idea ever I think to myself and drift off. 

   No, I am not mad anymore, if anything I feel bad.  He works 11-12 hours for the next six days, I love that he has been respecting everything I did for the past three days.  One of the reasons why I love my sweet Hispanic lover.  As a married couple, we fight and say things that we wish we could take back but can't.  I just think it helps us more and more everyday to spend sometime away and then talk.  Communication is the key; it is just more fun to be naked while doing it. 

Word to the wise: If you and your significant other argue and there is no sign of hope, try sitting across the room from one another totally naked and see how long the argument goes.  In my opinion, the argument won't go on very long. 

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