It happened somewhere on a united airlines flight between Cancun, California, or the drive to Manhattan KS to see my best friend and soul sister on New Year’s Eve…It could have been the nerves from knowing that this was the 1st time in my entire life that I felt alone or that I was experiencing new places and new people alone, it might have been the multiple vodka 7’s on the airplane, or the large amount of fireball I insisted we take in Aggieville while screaming out callin baton rouge at the top of my lungs….but what I think it really was…was that I knew that this was the end….the end of feeling sorry for myself and the beginning of starting something NEW!
My story starts way before this…so let me catch you up a bit and tell you where this is going.
A little over 8 months ago…I had lost a man that I cared the world about…(its taken me that long to also only write that about the whole situation J) This person meant the absolute world to me…you know ..the kind of love that only happens once in a lifetime type of thing…ok so before you stop reading and decide that this is depressing and sad…please understand that I am not trying to sit here and pull a Taylor swift on you….I am quite aware that I am not the only person to ever be broken up with. Am I pissed though that I didn’t get on the cover of people magazine for my break-up? Yes. Do I wish I could have written a hit song about this? Yes. Do I wish I would have dropped the break-up 20 lbs? Yes, but I grew up on a dairy farm and was not willing to give up actually good food.
So to help cope and understand some of the feelings and thoughts I started to journal. Some days I wrote actual sentences, some days it was only song lyrics I had heard, but most days it was so hard to even think about that I could only write single words describing the what i was feeling.
I had never felt this feeling in my entire life….and I guess that’s how you know it was real. I had kept these entries with absolutely no intention of ever reading or showing them to anyone. It was just kind of a way for me to think clearly. To be quite honest with you I’m glad I did keep them…because if you were to ask me any questions regarding any events that had happened between the dates of July and December I couldn’t tell you one thing. My mind was so consumed with heartbreak that I couldn’t even remember birthdays, anniversaries, or even husker football games (and if you are from Nebraska you know exactly what I am talking about). I cried every single day from July up until December 31st feeling so sorry for myself.
So on New Year’s Eve I decided to take a stand….mainly because I had pulled my single friend card for so long now that I was starting to lose touch of what really mattered in life.
What’s the “single friend card”? I will later have an entry on this but to catch you up to speed…everybody has had used it before or been a victim of this whether you are aware of it or not. The “single friend card” is to only be used on the friend in the group who is recently single and lonely. Whatever they want to do, you do. Where ever they want to go, you go. Whatever poor life decision they decide to make, let them do it and make sure they get home safely. If they insist you go to Barry’s rooftop in 100 degree weather and down shots of fireball…you say “go find a spot on the dance floor and I’ll bring em over and hold your hair back for all 8 hours of misery (thanks Megan). And by god if want to not go to the gym and let themselves go you sit there and tell them they look pretty and eat that bag of bon bons right next to them. It’s quite simple really…and if you haven’t used your single friend card…either find new friends or apply this method immediately. You will thank me later.
Anyways my closest family and friends were getting sick of seeing me the way that I was. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and be the “Adrianne” everyone else knew. And only I had the power to do that
God that sounds so depressing….im making myself miserable just reading this. Anyways...lets speed this up…it was the eve before my 25th birthday and I decided that this year…I was going to start a blog. I strongly believe that if I had met…or read something like what I have in store for all you readers…maybe the process of what I had gone through would have been a lot easier. So there you have it! If you don’t want to read this and only criticize my writing …please click off this page and never read this again…positive people only allowed on this page! Go back to your scrolling through Facebook and look at “betty-sues” latest Instagram post and comment there. If this blog can just reach ONE person going through something hard and make them smile today and maybe just giggle a little….then this whole thing was completely worth it. So my beautiful readers! I hope you are excited for what I have coming your way this year…because you best believe it will be a fun ride!!
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