No two break-ups are exactly alike.
It then follows that no two heartbreaks will ever be exactly the same. Our uniqueness as individuals creates for us distinct ways of experiencing and dealing with pain, much like having a ‘heartbreak fingerprint’, if you will. The intensity, the length of time spent in this grieving process, our coping mechanisms, all depend not only on the quality of the just-ended-relationship, but also on what our personalities are like.
I’m an intense person who leans towards introversion. And though I’m known to have a strong penchant for anything cerebral and live to shred ideas to pieces if only to subject them to over analysis, I also can’t deny a strong emotional side. Yes, I’m a bit of a drama queen, but a ‘closet’ one. That means, when things truly matter to me, I do feel intensely and passionately, although I almost never flaunt such emotions. I won’t deny that I do feed my masochistic tendencies by relishing my sorrow and squeezing as much drama and good writing material out of it as if it were my only source of satiation. In other words, in some twisted way, I feed myself with what has killed me.
Image: Torback Harper via Flickr
Finally, I figured I needed to leave the country for a short vacation and time abroad to further distract and convince myself that there’s so much out there to look forward to and discover about myself. (Don’t you think this was verySabrina
-ish?...the remake with Julia Ormond, not the Audrey Hepburn original). Unfortunately, I ended up torturing my best friend, with whom I flew for approximately 20 hours, by talking about my ex and our intense love affair, non-stop! I can imagine that she was probably thinking that it would’ve been far more pleasurable to jump off of the plane than hear one more bit of my reminiscing.
So, yes. I did a movie-worthy post-break-up journey and I don't regret any moment of it. I felt the depth of my pain while feeling like a movie star. I paid attention to my self-discovery and healing, while imagining that it was a magical and glamorous experience. You might as well have fun while you try to pick up and put together your heart's jagged shards. Create soundtracks, come up with cheesy lines, and choose your inspiration characters. Most importantly, plan for a happy ending. Sometimes the main characters get back together, but sometimes they don't. But in any movie, the best and most memorable endings are those where the characters dared to go deeper into self-discovery, ending up feeling more self-assured, enlightened and evolved. That's real triumph. That's the real key to surviving a break-up.
How did you survive yours?