I'm writing this to girls of all ages...the teenagers who are facing the challenges of fitting in or rebelling against it, the freshmen in college struggling to find yourselves or struggling to forget who you are like I did, the twenty-somethings who haven't made it yet who are constantly hitting the glass ceiling, the single mothers, the housewives who just want to be appreciated and understood, the fifty somethings feeling like you are losing your minds with the mood swings and hot flashes, to the grandmothers in the nursing home whose children don't call enough and who look into the mirror and only see glimpses of who you used to see.
I am a twenty six, almost twenty seven year old OB/GYN resident. I see patients like all of you every single day. And I love it! I love my job because it allows me to give you the hope, give you the courage, give you the knowledge to be so much more. You see, so many times I see broken women. Battered, bruised, exhausted women who have been up against so many things and they are tired of fighting. Tired of fighting to get the promotion, tired of fighting to get pregnant, tired of fighting to be heard, tired of fighting the bills, tired of fighting a man or their children. We all have these battles. Girls in high school battle peer pressure way more than the baby boomer generation. The amount of exposure to drugs, men, sex, alcohol and all kinds of other self destructive behaviors is exponentially greater now than ever before. Moms, understand that your girls face challenges that you never ever could have imagined. Girls, understand that your mom never had to face the things you do.
I am writing this as a plea for all of us...
We have soooooo much potential inside of us. If only we could feel safe, loved, warm, cared for, protected, needed, provided for. As a career woman, I understand the need for drive and ambition, but I also know from personal experience that I do not want the responsibility of the income or the big financial decisions if I don't have to. Some of you don't have a choice, and I commend you for the decisions you make for yourselves and your children. Some of us are waiting (or tired of waiting for) that prince to come and make our life into the fairy tales you read about or see on TV.
You know the movie at the end when the guy comes around the corner and sweeps her up in her arms...she gets a little teary and says "I've been waiting for you..." and he says, "I've been here all along..." Then of course they kiss and the happy music starts playing. Well...in real life, they go home to reality. Family disputes, disagreements, financial difficulty, bankruptcy, affairs, life raising teenagers, they go home to the real stuff. Real marriages are hard and challenging. They require the commitment to the other person despite what they might do to you. Despite that petty argument he tried to start, or the socks on the floor that you KNOW he left on purpose, the cold shoulder, the disinterest until you hit the sack, the silence...Now, of course, if there is abuse involved, that is another matter entirely. For you there is hope and ways out. There are battered women's shelters, look inside women's bathrooms for the numbers. Don't write them down on your person in a place he might find it but put it in a place he won't ever find it like in your shoe or your bag with tampons in it.
What ever your situation, whatever your pain, whatever your heartache, whatever your loneliness...
What if I told you that there was a way to feeling safe, loved, warm, cared for, protected, needed, provided for?
Like you were being hugged all day long?
And it didn't go away no matter what you did or didn't do?
There is a hug out there waiting for you, girls, women...it is called God. He will complete you. You know that ache that you get when you are somewhere you should be having the time of your life and you are surrounded by the people you love, your best friend in the world, your steady boyfriend, your husband and kids...You should feel completely happy and alive and perfect...but you don't, do you? You can't shake the feeling that there is something missing? It is Him, girls. Plain and simple. Nothing else fits into that "God-shaped hole in your heart".
I should know..I personally tried to fill it up with everything else, the career and "success", clothes, art, shopping, reading (romance of course), boyfriends, friends, challenges, new hobbies. I even went so far as to prove to God and my family and friends that I wasn't worth the gift God sent to us. I wasn't worth it. I did everything I could to sabotage it. I even did this without realizing it. It was horrifying to realize this one day and realize that I was worth it because it didn't matter who I was or what I did or didn't do...I am the beloved daughter of the Most High, the Almighty, the Alpha and Omega and he loves me despite myself. And, I'm only one of his beloved daughters!!! You all are the love He is waiting for. He endured physical pain and suffering in the form of Jesus Christ, as well as the pain of watching His son die as God the Father. But it is God the Spirit, the Holy Spirit that actually fills this hole in you. Fills the ache, and adds to you.
Women are made in the beautiful image of God. Men are not! We are beautiful in His eyes as we are. Not as society wants us to be or tells us we are to be. He not only fills up that hole in us, but he makes us shine from within. Kind of like pregnancy but better! Plus, you don't get the stretch marks!
We are His bride, his beloved, the love that he has for us we can't even grasp it.
When you have that in you, you feel like you can move mountains, like you can make decision with confidence, that you can be a leader, a better mom, a better wife, a better teacher, a better everything. While that emotional high is amazing, it starts to settle into this amazing peace, and you just walk around with this light pouring out of you. you can listen better, you can help more, you can give more of yourself. Those of you in times of trouble, He will give you the things you need daily to get through. Strength, endurance, perseverance, patience (I pray for this one allllll the time).
I know from experience that it is almost impossible to believe in the fairy tale, that it is true, or could be true. We have such little faith in relationships and in men that we put this relationship within the same confines. God does not fit in this box, girls. He loves you more than you can imagine. He loves loves loves loves loves you!
He is waiting for you...