And I Smothered Him . . . ?

3 years ago

We "met" online at one of the popular dating sites.  We exchanged a few emails then met for tea.  The conversation was good.  The 'chemestry' was there.  As we left, he asked me out again. We coordinated our calendars, then met for wine the following week.  And he texted me during the week.  Alot.   Week 3 was appetizers and wine followed by more texting and phone calls during the week.  Week 4 was dinner with a 2 hour kissing session in the car. We did not get together during Christmas or New Year's Eve as we both had prior plans.  But we kept in touch and texted.  Alot.  His texting was a little red flag, but I dismissed it.  It was cute.  It was nice to know he cared.  Right?  Right!

There were a few more dates and social events.  And then there was his texting.  He would text 10, 12, 15 times a day.  He would call morning, afternooon and evening.  Every day!  Just 'checking in' he would say.  And there was the sex.  The best mind blowing sex that both of us had ever experienced.  It was for me anyway.  And I do believe it was for him too.  He said it was, but who knows? We started to introduce each other to our friends.  He would talk about his family and say things like "when you meet my mother," "when you meet my sister," "when you meet...." You get the picture.

Then there was Valentine's Day!  I stressed because we had been dating only 2 1/2 months.  How does one avoid the "I love you," yet express caring sentiments?  I scoured the card racks and finally found the perfect card.  No "love" words, yet the message of caring and happiness was there.  I didn't even sign the card with "love."  I'm not one for big once or twice a year dinners at expensive restaurants, so we decided to have a quiet intimate dinner at his house.  He had beautiful flowers displayed on the table for me.  My favorite dessert and one of my favorite dishs for dinner.  Candelight.  Then there was his Valentine's Day card.  The sentiments were not "I love you" but the word love was used in several places.  He wrote a heart felt message and signed it with "love." 

We are both busy professionals, so coordinated our calendars and planned a few more dates.  Although I introduced him at social events, i.e. dinner parties and fundraisers, as my friend, he started to introduce me as his girlfriend.  We would often see each other once during the week for a cup of tea or glass of wine, then plan a weekend evening date.  He would invite me to his home and we would snuggle on the couch and watch a movie, have mind blowing sex, then I would go home.  The interminible daily texting and multiple phone calls continued. 

At 3 1/2 months, he sits me down and tells me he feels smothered.  Really?  Seriously?  HE feels smothered?  He is the one who texted a million times a day and called often to "check in."  He is the one who got the Valentine's card with "love" in it.  He is the one who suggested my meeting his family, and he is the one who introduced me as his girlfriend.  But it is he who feels smothered?  Aarrgghh!  LOL!  Men!  I love them, but don't always understand them.

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