Am I Writing A Post About Break-ups? Really?

9 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Every so often in my blog reading, I’ll come across a post about the ending of a romantic relationship. If the post is especially good and/or thought provoking, I’ll save the link for later. I figured that at some point, since I do write about single life, a post about break-ups would fit right in.

The only thing is, it’s a little difficult to write about break-ups if you’re not currently going through one yourself. I mean, the topic can be a little depressing -- why would you want to bring up those memories if you don’t have to? And if you’re like me, maybe you haven’t had enough break-ups to be able to talk about the subject only in general terms (indeed, maybe there have been so few break-ups in your life that the people close to you will know exactly who you’re talking about).

If I really wanted to, I could write a doozy of a break-up post. It has drama, a touch of revenge, and unexpected plot twists (including a visit to a tattoo shop). And you know what? A lot of it has already been written. I wrote the post months ago, back when I felt like I was finally getting over this particular break-up but I knew I wasn’t completely over it.

I wrote the post with the intention of putting it up on my blog with password-only access so it wouldn’t be available for the entire world to see. But when I was finished, something unexpected happened: I found that the writing itself was cathartic. I felt so much better. All those thoughts that had been churning around in my head were finally out in black and white, and I no longer felt the need to post the story for other people to read.

I’m not saying that I would never post it (with password protection intact, of course). It’s just that, if I posted it now, I’d have to deal with the comments and I’d have to respond to them. These events are in my past, both of us have moved on, and I don’t feel the need to relive it.

When writing a break-up post, some people use the phrase “broken heart” to describe how they’re feeling. I never used that phrase myself. Maybe the feeling of having a broken heart will apply to me (God forbid) in the future, under different circumstances -- but it didn’t apply in this case. My heart was, however, cracked. And once a heart has been cracked, nothing is quite the same after that: you’re more wary; you’re less likely to trust as easily.

Here’s the short version of my break-up post: I had good times, I had bad times. I loved, I lost, I learned. I’m a different person than I once was, but I’m happy with who I am.

Would the short version of your break-up post sound anything like that?

Related Reading:

Stefanie: Top 20 Superficial Reasons I’ve Broken Up With Someone and More Superficial Reasons for Breakups

Surfergrrl wrote about the first anniversary of the end of a five-year relationship -- how hard it was to force herself not to contact him, and how difficult it was to go through holidays and birthdays as a newly single person.

Hey Pretty ended a relationship not long ago -- she called the experience “undeniably sad...but also strangely exhilarating.” I know exactly what she means.

Shine: 10 Dating Red Flags

Yahoo Personals: Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig

(Contributing editor Zandria just got back from Las Vegas. She blogs at

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