7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single:
“I hate being single!” or, “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Singlehood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it first hand, but there are those who are still single due to those are left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then of course you have those people who call you “desperate.” Lets get one stereotype cleared up though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There's a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate, but if you stuggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.
This article/blog post is NOT for those people who are smart enough to take a step back, look at the situation, and go slow into finding someone to have a real relationship with instead of rushing themselves to the altar.
This is for those who are sabatoging any chance they get at having a relationship and there are seven good reasons why you are still single.
Lets start off small:
1- You have annoying habits that scare people away.
I know someone who has this annoying habit of talking with food in their mouth. I also know someone who is obsessed with their blackberry or iPhone. You interrupt people while they are talking and talk about something else or just talk on and on, was another relationship breaker that was mentioned.
2- You don't pay attention and constantly make the other person repeat.
It doesn't cost anything to pay attention. If someone is talking to you and you are too busy doing something else, what does that say about how you value the other person? We as a society need to learn to listen better. Most people just listen for the cue to when its their turn to speak, they don't actually listen to what is being said.
3- Loyalty, Honesty, & Trust issues.
Let me give you the straight definition of each term. Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating or theft. And Trust is, the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. These three are tied together. When you don't have one in any relationship, you don't have any of them. When you are loyal, you don't cheat. When you have faith that the person you love only loves you; then you have trust. And when you trust someone, you know that they are being fully honest with you about every aspect of the relationship.
4- You constantly talk about your ex or previous relationship nonstop.
I know some ladies who constantly talk about previous relationships as if they are still continuing. When you still have serious baggage you can not and SHOULD NOT even start to think about having a new relationship when you aren't even over the previous one. This is mistake that many single ladies make. They hop into a new relationship just so they can forget about how “Dave” ripped their heart into a million pieces, or they sleep with the first guy that glances over at them in a bar, restaurant, gym, etc. This is also very “desperate” behavior which signifies very deep self-worth, self-esteem issues, because when you settle just for “anyone” to get over someone with whom you had an emotional and physical relationship with, you are setting yourself up for even a bigger disaster.
5- You have a negative outlook on life.
Negativity breeds negativity just like positivity breeds positivity. If you have the “whoa is me,” attitude, who wants to be around that and listen to it 24/7? I know that I don't. Who wants to keep hearing how work stinks, how much you wish you would be able to live somewhere else, or how everyone around you is having babies and families but not me?
6- You are oversharing too fast.
Making a full disclosure within first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeltons” you reveal. Again, our new date doesn't need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn't work, your money issues, etc. Remember, less history equals more mystery.
7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex.
Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody's “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn't be based on looks, money or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)
You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.
In today's society we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don't fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL,
There is someone for everyone, just because you haven't met that special someone, does not mean you never will. Take this time in your single life to focus on you and love yourself, so when the right one for you comes along, you can wholeheartedly share that love with them to.
More from love