6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Look Your Best on a First Date

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.


Image Source : Sergey Sus vis Flickr


I’ve always been a relationship kind of girl... or at least I had been.

A few months back, a big change happened in my life:  I was dumped. What does that even mean? I’ve essentially been in a relationship since I was 13 years old. Don’t get me wrong, there was spacing in between relationships but never any like this. For starters, I was the dumpee not the dumper. That was a first. Second, I in no way wanted it to happen. I didn’t want to be single. I didn’t want to not be with that person. What the hell? But, come to find out, life moves on no matter how much you want it to stop so it can fix itself.

With new circumstances comes new challenges. I had never dated, ever. The guys that I had been in relationships with were friends that became boyfriends over time. I had to learn this whole new phenomenon at the seemingly ancient age of 25. These were a few of the things I learned along the way:

You shouldn’t use your whole bag of beauty tricks on a first impression. You want to be able to razzle dazzle him at some point later on. If you do your  makeup the best you know how, in the best curly updo possible, and wear that perfect little black dress then how do you plan on wowing him later on? Like when he has the honor of being your boyfriend.

He’s already nervous. There is a lot of pressure on a first date just for the mere fact that it’s a first date. If you show up looking like a supermodel, it is going to put more pressure on him because he’s going to be intimidated by how smoking hot you are. He already thought you were attractive or he probably wouldn’t have asked you out in the first place.

If he is distracted by your looks, he won’t be spending much effort on getting to know you for who you really are, which is awesome! Your first date and even the next few after that should be a time to get to know one another so pay attention and be involved. It’s really hard to do if you’re reapplying lipstick after every sip of your martini.


Image: Raphal Castillo via Flickr

You will set a precedent that you typically look like that and he may expect it of you. You need to put the least amount of pressure on yourself, and if you are constantly thinking you need to "one-up" yourself from the last date, you won’t really be able to enjoy yourself. You’re just going to stress yourself out in the end by always trying to look your very best. Another bonus is that it’s nice to have someone be attracted to you when you look the most like yourself.

Your date will be much more enjoyable if you are comfortable. Your outfit is obviously going to be dependent on where you go, but take comfort into consideration. If you are going to dinner and then dancing, consider flats if heels kill your feet. If you’re miserable, you’re not going to have as good of a time and it could mess up what would have been a magical night otherwise.

It is important to feel pretty but it is more important to feel confident. That is what is going to really WOW your guy. If he’s a good guy, the kind of guy you want to meet, he will be much more impressed by the confidence you’re exuding than how tight your dress is or how straight you got your eyeliner.

Read more at 20-Something Syndrome