The deterioration of relationships are apart of the human experience. Any relationship can go sour and it takes courage to move forward once it ends. Here are 5 ways you know that you have truly overcome the past and can take the next step to move forward:
1) You Can Speak of the Relationship with No Strong Emotional Reaction:
I remember a year into a new relationship, my ex was still trying to reconcile. He would go to extreme lengths to reach me despite the fact that I had “moved on”. When I would speak to my boyfriend about the injustices and straight cruelty that I experienced in this relationship, it was as if I was brought back to the depths of those emotions. It wasn’t until we were starting year two, that I realized something had changed.
Like other “losses” in our lives, when we are able to reflect on the experience from a clear and sound mind sans the emotions, it is a major indication that you have moved past this experience. If your thoughts about this person conjure little to no emotional response, you can begin the process of replacing this old love, with something new!
2) Seeing Them in Public Doesn’t Make you Want to Run Away:
It can be an excruciating experience to run into a past love. You dream of the moment you see them when you’re at the top of your game, as a way to stick it to them. If these thoughts are still consuming you, you’re still working through your emotions and aren’t quite over your ex. You’ll know you’ve made the transition once seeing your ex is an opportunity to exercise your maturity and simply say, “Hello”. You’ll be able to use this as a time to show that you have evolved and moved on and not as a chance to show them what they’re missing out on. You’ll be comfortable enough to know that your life now, is enough, and there will be no need to prove a thing in that instance. You’ll be fine with being in their presence.
3) When they Very Thing You Loved About Them, Now Makes you Cringe:
Their laugh, crass sense of humor, the way they loved to be the center of attention or give their opinion about the daily happenings of your life. These all, in an instance, are sickening and is a reminder of why you are no longer with them. Often times we get stuck in the memories we hold on to from our past relationships, to a fault. It can bring you back to a relationship that you had no business being in in the first place. Once these negative feelings begin to reemerge, take this as a sign that those “cute” things, were never cute enough to make you truly happy. Hold fast to that thought and recognize that you have moved on.
4) You No Longer Care About What they Do:
Social media makes it easy to keep tabs on the lives of our friends, family and ex’s alike. When you’re able to see them on a vacation, partying it up in the club and snapping pics with someone of the other sex and not have a care in the world, my friend, you have moved on. Celebrate your growth in that moment.
5) Your Thoughts Have Shifted:
At the peak of a break up, it seems as if all you can think about is the end of your relationship. It consumes you’re life and thoughts and ultimately your actions. One of the tell-tale signs of overcoming a trauma (which a breakup can sometimes feel like) is when you begin to think about it less. This is far different than intentionally trying to forget, or not dealing with the emotions that come with a break up. This is the natural process of moving on. You simply just begin to replace these thought with other things. There’s a shift in where your energy is placed and eventually it no longer matters. The less you think about them, the more it becomes evident that you have moved past this relationship.
More from love