365 Reflections - Reflection 5

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

I018 I love to write. But I have not always done it. The evolution of my writing coincided with the advent of email and, oddly, internet dating.

In the early days of on particular internet dating site, there was a very strict protocol of getting to know someone. It involved a lot of back and forth communication via surveys and questionnaires and only after you were satisfied with these did you actually communicate and that was usually written - at least initially. At the same time, email became more prevalent in the work place as well as a great way to stay in touch with people.  During this time I developed a conversational style of communication. My writing evolved over the years and I was able to tell stories and my first blog was actually called Storyteller Lisa. From there, I realized that I could also use my writing to convey my thoughts more clearly and that's where my trouble began.

During my twenties and thirties, I had a bad habit of of giving my opinion on things in a, well let's call it a brutally honest manner.  I rarely thought before I spoke and I really cannot tell you how many times I would have someone call me on my candor and let me know it was not well received. In all honesty, once the thoughts flew out of my mouth and I rarely remembered what I said -which can be a very bad thing. I left hurt feelings everywhere and I was somewhat oblivious to the damage I had done.

As I grew older, I developed more of a filter, on my mouth anyway, and with the emergence of email, my communication style shifted. The trouble was, I now had a weapon of even more power and I did not hesitate to labor over an email and hone my words to a deadly point. Once launched, the casualties were greater and the consequences of my actions broader because with the touch of a button, my brutality could be shared far and wide.  And now, as I enter further into my fifties, with the addition of a few grey hairs, some religious study and the feedback of friends and family, my edges have softened and I find myself thinking a bit more before I launch into a verbal assault or a written attack.  And it has served me much better.

I was involved in a transaction earlier this month and after a moment of crystal clarity about what I wanted the outcome to be, I sent an email. The email was three sentences long and conveyed my wishes clearly and simply with no other baggage. I let the email go and eventually, got what I wanted. And I didn't have to hurt anyone.  Another step in the evolution of Lisa. Who knew?

More from love

Love
by Charyn Pfeuffer | 8 hours ago
Love
by Elizabeth Yuko | a day ago
Love
by Charyn Pfeuffer | 2 days ago
Love
by Allie Gemmill | 7 days ago
Love
by Charyn Pfeuffer | 10 days ago
Love
by Katie Smith | 15 days ago
Love
by Katie Smith | 17 days ago
Love
by HelloFlo N/A | 21 days ago
Love
by Monica Beyer | 23 days ago
Love
by Lisa Fogarty | 25 days ago
Love
by Monica Beyer | a month ago
Love
by Brie Gatchalian | a month ago
Love
by Allie Gemmill | a month ago