Dating. Some women love it, and some hate it.
The ones that fall into the latter group find themselves paying for the check (never do this ever, ladies), looking great on the outside (but feeling lost on the inside) and they choose bad men to go out with – men they fall in love with way too fast.
I hate when I hear women say they don’t enjoy dating, because to me, dating is SO much fun – if done properly. Without further ado, here are 10 tips that will make your dating experience more fun and more fulfilling.
Tip 1: Stay away from the “Player.” This is a very important rule. Players are very hurtful to a woman’s self-esteem. They really just want to “play” with you…But you are not a toy, so let’s remove them from our pool of men immediately! How do you spot a player? Well, to keep it as simple as possible: Don’t you always just know? I mean c’mon. They are as clear as day about their intentions by the way they talk, move and pursue you. Rule of thumb: if you ask yourself the question: “Is he a player?” He usually is.
Tip 2: NEVER Pay for Dinner: If a guy is really into you, he will NOT let you pay. Do what I do: put your cute, designer wallet at the bottom of your bag, underneath everything you could ever carry in it. It should be so deep in your bag, that by the time you find it, your date has aged significantly.
Tip 3: Ask The Right Questions- But don’t be obvious about it. Find clever ways to get the answers you need. For example, “My friends have been together for SO many years. They are so in love. I really value that and think it’s special. What do you think?”
Tip 4: Spend Lots of Alone Time Together…Alone: Get to know each other before you go on group dates, long dates, out-of the state dates. And especially, out of the country dates!
Tip 5: Don’t Limit Yourself. Date Lots of Guys: Date even the ones you don’t like that much. Also, take the time to get to know them. What is the rush?
Tip 6: Join An Online Dating Site or Other Social Network: But please, don’t make this the only way you meet men. By joining an online dating site, you are simply expanding the amount of people you are meeting in a given week. You can also expand by taking a class, exercising with a lot of people, meeting people at the supermarket/deli, asking friends to introduce you to new people, etc. etc.
Tip 7: If A Date Doesn’t Go Well, Don’t Spend Time Thinking About It. Move on! Sometimes it’s just a case of a miss-match and other times you can’t really tell. It doesn’t matter—just let it go. But do try to learn something from every date. Sometimes you will learn nothing and that is okay too. But I find that you usually learn something.
Tip 8: Who You Are at Work Isn’t Who You Are on Date: Let your hair down, relax and have fun. Have a glass of wine before you go out, listen to some music while you dance in your living room, etc. etc. I find myself listening to “She-Wolf” by Shakira a lot…I have also been known to open my freezer door and let the cold air just hit my face. Why? Because I like it!
Tip 9: Remember Who You Are As A Person: There is line in Zoolander(Yes, I am quoting Zoolander, great movie!) where Ben Stiller looks up into the sky and says, “Who am I?” This is a very important question and one you must ask yourself before going out on dates. (This is after you have gone heavy on the hairspray, push-up bra or whatever else you have added to yourself to make you more PHYSICALLY attractive.) Sometimes we get caught up in all this and we don’t even remember who we are as people or how great we are just being ourselves. So take a few minutes to breathe and find clarity. (That is, if your lungs are still able and functioning after spraying half a bottle of hairspray in your hair. Try anyway).
Tip 10: Greatness Reminder- Before heading out, take a good look in the mirror and say, “I am SO incredible that I can’t even take it. I am SO smart, SO cute, SO amazing, that it just overwhelms me sometimes." Are these things untrue? Absolutely not, you are all these things. If you want to take it a step further, kiss the mirror with whatever lipstick you are wearing, slap your own butt and say it again. Muah!
La Buena Vida
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