Your Friend's Just Not That Into You

I went through a rough time this weekend with someone I thought was a friend and I realized I could apply the He's Just Not That Into You list of no-excuses to friendship as well. If I had done that many years ago, I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now which made me angry and made me take down everyone with me, all guns blazing, in a  take no prisoners and kill everyone standing way.

It's written with a He but it could be a She.


The signs were there but like I used to do with men, I made excuses.


  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out

Your friend doesn't ask you out in public for coffee, a restaurant, a museum visit, whatever. Check

  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You

Stop checking the machine and stop waiting for a call. There are public phones, a phone in every home and cell phones. If he wants to call, he'll call. If not, he's not interested.  Check

  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You

If he doesn't talk to you more than once and you don't see each other more than that, not a friend. "Between friends", "in replacement" doesn't count. To get your metro pass, money or class notes doesn't count either.


  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex with You

If a friend wants to have sex ? Not a friend. Kind of checked,he checked out my breasts.


  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Using You To Have Sex with Someone Else

Not interested in your friendship if he's more interested in having sex with your sibling, your mom, your other friend, your dog.


  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk

If this friend only wants to see you when drunk, coked up, shooted up or any combination of anything involving an addiction, not interested in you. Incapable of spending time with you without taking alcohol, a joint, coke, heroin or without gambling...not interested in friendship.


  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Be With You

Would be a friend if he wanted to be your firend, to be with you. But he's not. Can't make plans to see you next week or go in a concert in six months or to plan a vacation next year, to be involved in your life together. Your friend might however find time and energy in a blond chick with pigtails that plays beach volleyball, does jogging, is a DJ, volunteers with kids, plays card and likes to dance. Plus she likes to go to the beach, likes to go at H&M and manages to find jeans her size there and really is into québécois music. Check

  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You

It's not you, it's me, you deserve better, I don't want to be in the way of your happiness, I have to work on myself...on a post-it, by phone, in person. We shouldn't see each other anymore boyfriend doesn't want us to see each other anymore. In any way, this friend is breaking up. Check

  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You

The friend has disappeared. He hasn't moved, isn't dead, hasn't moved away in another country, isn't travelling or busy. His grandma isn't dead. But he might have forgotten your name or that you exist.  Check

  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's Unavailable

If your friend always lets you down for her boyfriend, his girlfriend, his other friends. If he stands you up regularly. He works 70 hours a week, has had a difficult childhood and can't relate, just came out a bad breakup, he's having an existential crisis...even if you have a million things in common and had a really great time that other time...your friend's just not that into you. He isn't available. For you. Check

  • Your Friend's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak

If your friend was perfect, he would be. But don't expect him to change especially if he demeans you, treats you like crap, is violent, lies to you, plays behind your back, is dishonest, steals from you, poisons your cat, steals your other friends.   Check


My supposed friend was an ex. It has been over for 10 years. He has been lying. Everything has been lies. He said his girlfriend didn't want him to see me instead of being honest and telling me he didn't want me as a friend anymore. We were really good friends, we used to have fun. He told me he didn't have time, he invited me to a party where we saw each other for the first time in 2 years (because of the girlfriend) and didn't talk to me...hasn't called, hasn't answered my emails...It has been very difficult.


Even when we were together I heard him make excuses to his friends and say he had a family dinner instead of saying he didn't want to go out. It never crossed my mind he was lying to me too.


My friend's just not that into me.


Terry Elisabeth

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