You- Over there…The one who can’t stand me!

7 years ago

I have to wonder why some of us try so hard to get people who aren’t worth our time to like us. I can’t count the number of times I’ve gone out of my way to prove to someone that they should want to be my friend. Why the heck?…Sometimes people just don’t like me…wait…no. That’s not true. I’m very likable. I’m friendly, smart, funny…they must be confused. I’m sure they like me but just don’t know it yet!… “Here! I made you some brownies.”, “Here! I wrote you a poem.”, “Here! I’ll give you my car.”

List of things to do today:

  1. Ignore all the people who like me already! There must be something wrong with them.(check)
  2. Accidentally run into the girl who rolled her eyes at me yesterday and explain the joke that she rolled her eyes at. When she rolls her eyes again, try harder!(check)
  3. Call the guy who won’t answer his phone when I call and leave him a funny message about the fact that he won’t answer. (check)
  4. Find someone who doesn’t want help and try to help them. (check)

The strange thing is that when you think about how many “good” friends we really need, the number is very low. I have many, many people in my life that I consider “friends”, but only a few who truly understand me and care about me. Those few are the ones I tend to put the least amount of effort into. Doesn’t it seem to be a little self-destructive to sabotage your real friendships by putting so much time into people who have blatantly let you know that they don’t want you in their lives? So why would a person waste her time on those people? Why do women want the guy whose the “player” that she knows has cheated on every girl he’s ever been with? Why do kids want to be friends with the “popular” kids that are never nice to them. Come to think of it. Many of those people aren’t even nice to the people they like. I did this as a kid too.

(Scene fades to a 7 year old Calia…Pigtail braids and the plaid pants from the nurse’s office after having fallen into the creek on the way to school in the morning…on a daily basis)

There is one girl who is my best friend who only likes me every other day. My parents told me that her parents are divorced and she probably has some problems. “Oh no! She has problems? I should help her!”…I’ll give her everything I have. I’ll do her homework. I’ll invite her over to my house so she can have dinner in a home where there is a mother and a father. If I make a joke, I’ll let her take the credit for it….But I am only 7 years old and she isn’t even nice. Can’t she do her own homework? Doesn’t she already have a McDonald’s hamburger on the table at her house that her mother left there for her before she went to work (I had to eat a well-balanced meal and wasn’t even allowed to eat candy or pudding pops!)? …Is she even funny?

(Scene fades to present day)

That girl hasn’t been heard from since she moved away in 6th grade. What the heck happened to her? I wonder if she is happy? I should call her and see if she needs some money or something. Maybe she needs me to baby-sit her kids sometime? I’m sure she’s very busy and her life is way more important than mine.

Darn! I wonder if our patterns of how we allow people to treat us are established before we are even 10 years old? If so, we are all pretty screwed. I had such an amazing childhood that I wanted to show everyone who didn’t, how great life could be by treating them with complete respect and unconditional kindness. I wonder if the kids who did have the good childhoods wondered why I didn’t want to play with them? The funny thing is that I have run into those kids, now 20-some years later with kids of their own, who have expressed to me that they always liked me. I guess I didn’t know that. I must’ve been working too hard trying to make the people who didn’t like me, and weren’t going to, care about me!

(scene fades to reminiscent times of elementary school)

Wow! I would’ve had a heck of a lot more time if I had just spent it with people who were worth it…(scene fades to reminiscent times of my 20’s)…Wow! I would’ve had a heck of a lot more time if I had just spent it with people who were worth it!

(scene fades to present)

…Wow! There are some really great people in my life who care about me unconditionally. I like them. I’m glad I don’t care what those other people who don’t want to like me think!…anymore…Day 5…

 

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