Writing a novel is really hard. It's not that I thought it would be easy. It's just that when you hear about every celebrity and their mother coming out with a book it makes it seem like something you just do but there is a lot more to it then that. I don't have a ghost writer and it's fiction. It's a total manifestation of my imagination. I have to make every single thing that occurs in this book come alive. Nothing happens unless I write it. Every word, every action, every character. Every detail. You labor over it. You get stumped and sometimes you can't even bear to look at what you've written anymore. Sometimes have to take a break and then look at it again with a fresh brain. I knew it would take me a long time to do this. Two years and counting so far. I can only wonder if next year will be the year it's done.
I started writing in September of 2009 and got up to 6,800 words and 27 pages before quitting. I got serious about it again and in January 2012 I had 10,131 words, 42 pages and a goal of writing 15 pages a month for the entire year. I did that and by the end of that year I had 45,104 words, 188 pages.
2013 year progress:
Jan: 52,267, page 218
Feb: 54,224, page 226
Mar: 58,540, page 245
Apr: 62,697, page 262
May: 65,790, page 276
Jun: 68,928, page 289
Jul: 76,750, page 322
Aug: 79,539, page 334
Sept: 81,623, page 343
Nov: 86,430, page 364
There are times when I read back and am thrilled with what I've done and other times where I feel like it has to be the worst thing ever written. Aside from Fifty Shades of Grey. That book was so terrible that it actually made me believe that I could do it. But even when I worry that it's horrible I keep going even as I wonder what the point of the whole thing is. You put all of this time, energy and effort into this and for what? It could be a piece of crap when all is said and done. It might not be but that's the thing. You really never know, especially if you are like me and won't let anyone read it.
I started writing with a basic idea and no outline. I wrote and wrote and wrote just hoping that I could get to 60,000 words which is considered novel length. I got there and that felt like a huge accomplishment but I still had so far to go with my story. I got to a point where I couldn't write anymore because I had no idea where it was going so I had to take a break in October. I was already at 80,000 words so I felt okay about not focusing on word count anymore. It's actually getting kind of long and I need to start wrapping things up. I set time aside to just jot things down and think about what I wanted to happen. I thought about my main character and what kind of story I wanted to tell. I ended up with a rough outline and then started writing again. It really helps to know the ending before I get there. Now I have some direction and I've been going back and editing certain things based on that. I think I might even have a title in mind now.
The only thing that saves me from quitting sometimes is that I know that no matter what, I just want to see this thing through. If my only goal were getting published and making money then I'd really feel like throwing in the towel on those days where I read it and feel like it's no good, but I don't care if no one ever reads it. I mean, I want it to be good of course but I really just want to finish it. I have no problem with spending hours and hour slaving over this thing even though I have no idea what will become of it because first and foremost I'm doing it for me. I just want to write and finish a novel. That is my only goal in mind at this point. When you are truly doing something for yourself you really can't lose. If anything did come of it that would just be a bonus.
The only thing harder then writing a novel is blogging daily. I failed miserably at that but I'm glad that I even sort of attempted it because now I know for certain what I already thought to be true. It's not for me! I just can't do it. I don't think it's necessary to be in your face every day, plus I just don't have that many ideas! I don't like publishing posts that I feel are kinda whatever slash crappy. I just don't feel good about doing that and that would happen a lot if I were trying to post every day. I'd rather do you a favor and spare you such drivel and myself a favor by not burning myself out on blogging.
I've been a little shy about it but I've decided that I will publish an excerpt from my novel. I just have to decide which part.
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