Write Your Own Future: 5 Lessons Learned

5 years ago

This post, I originally wrote for my blog: LifeSansBorders, which chronicles the crazy journey my husband and I are on in our tangled web of international love that has taken us across the globe and transcended seemingly insurmountable barriers. However, the lessons I have learned from our story our important enough to share with others - as they can be applied to just about every obstable in life. Live your passion - follow your dreams. You can do it. No one is holding you back but yourself.

International love story, passion, follow your dreams and your heart

Lesson 1: Believe in a dream that no one else sees but you
Yeah, that’s right. I said it. I’m pretty sure most people thought Charan and I were both crazy at some point over the last few years trying to make this relationship work. Having the courage and perseverance to continue working towards something even when it gets difficult or when others offer criticisms instead of support is often the difference between success and failure. And so what, even if you fail, try again! But being able to keep on the sometimes-arduous path and not-lose sight of your vision is often the key to success!

Lesson 2: Don’t let the fear of the unknown immobilize you
If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked us what we will do now, and where we will live after we get married, I’m pretty sure I would be able to make a dent in the California state deficit by now. The truth is, we made a decision to be together, but there is still a giant unknown that we are trying to solve for right now. But that variable didn’t paralyze us into submission, keeping us from moving on with our lives. If you let every dark corner, muddled path, or muddy waters keep you from moving forward, you’ll never realize your goals in the end. Keep going. Move forward – it’s the only thing you can do.

Lesson 3: It is NOT what it is, it’s what YOU make it to be
How many times have you heard the phrase, “it is what it is?” I personally HATE that phrase. It’s not what it IS… it IS what YOU make it.  I admit to at one point losing faith in this relationship, succumbing to the fact that it just wasn’t going to work out, Charan can admit to that as well. But then both of us woke up to the reality that our relationship issues are not going to solve themselves, nor are any life problems for that matter. Get up, get moving, and get your ass in gear people — life is what YOU make of it. Don’t put your plans, dreams, goals in the hands of other people. Don’t ever accept reality for what it is – YOU have the power to change it. The question is, do you have the courage to do so?

Lesson 4: Settling is for pushovers. 
Many people, for whatever reason succumb to their own weaknesses, perhaps peer pressures, or maybe even ethical dilemmas and at some point accept reality for what it is. The road to success is not without bumps and forks, and is no doubt fraught with difficulties. No one ever said winning was easy. It takes courage – it takes integrity, and it takes an insatiable demand for improvement and seething hatred for mediocrity. The key lesson: never, never, never settle.

Lesson 5: Love and live: be passionate about something
What is your passion? Can you imagine waking up 50 years from now realizing you never really stood for something, never followed you dream, never realized your passion? Everyone should have zeal, a zest for something — don’t waste prime years of your life in monotony. Even though there still lies a great deal of uncertainty in our relationship, we are convinced that everything will be OK. Why? Because we will make sure of it. If I don’t have the courage to break through barriers to be with the love of my life — then I have nothing. I will end with one of my favorite quotes from Steve Jobs. No matter what walk of life or if you applying this towards personal, professional, or academic endeavors – this applies to you. Take heed.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

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