*Author's Note: Proceed only if you're checking in with your sense of humor in tow*
Because I always make sure to watch only quality television, today's post was inspired by some lines I constantly hear from certain reality shows. (Don't bother asking me which ones I'm referring to). Admittedly, I did have to add some on my own, thus completing this list of words of wisdom that drive me insane when I hear them spoken. Given my penchant for over-analysis, these 'wise words', meant to comfort and enlighten, actually end up being ineffective for me because I find them either incomplete, irresponsible or just plain stupid.
Without further ado, here is my list of supposedly 'wise' sayings that, if spoken to me, will certainly cause either some debate or hair-pulling...and I can't promise that it won't be yours.
Photo Credit: A Tale of A Halo
"You only live once (YOLO)"
(variation: "Live like there's no tomorrow; dance as if nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt")
Oh really? Are you sure? Are you absolutely certain that we really only live once? If I happen to believe in reincarnation, where does this leave me?
And don't you think 'living like there's no tomorrow' is possibly the principle that most of mankind, especially those in the first world, have been practicing, which is why environmental degradation is close to being irreversible at this point, leaving almost nothing for future generations on this Earth?
The trouble is, it's more likely that there will be a tomorrow, whether tomorrow still has me in it or not. And if I'm still in it, which, again, is more likely, then I don't want to have painful joints that are beyond repair, causing me immobility as a result of irresponsibly dancing like there was no tomorrow.
As for loving like I've never been hurt, well, I'd like to think that there's a reason why God made memory possible. I think it's a terrible waste of gray matter if I just put past experiences and lessons aside instead of trying to remember and apply what I can in present and future relations, don't you agree? If my heart has been mauled to pieces before, won't it be a sign of intelligence if I proceed with some caution next time and employ a somewhat different strategy? The self-preservation instinct is there for a reason. Let's use it wisely.
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
Really??? 'Cos I once dreamed of being a medical doctor and then somehow it just did not work out. I lost interest. I guess it also didn't help that my Analytical Chemistry professor helped crush my dream by making no effort for her lectures to be understood so we can all have a passing grade, but instead took pride in having more than half of our class drop the course.
I also often dream of flying and yet somehow I'm still not able to do it. I wonder why.....
"Forgive and Forget"
There is no such thing. Yes, forgive by all means! But never forget. Because if you choose to, then how will you also remember the lessons learnt? I believe that forgiveness--releasing yourself from what binds you to the past and your expectations of it--is possible without completely forgetting what happened or was done to you. If someone has wronged you deeply, you can release yourself from the negative emotions, and yet still keep notes as to what could possibly protect you from committing the same mistake again, either with the same person or with another. It's simply common sense.
"Love is never having to say you're sorry"
I guess I missed the memo saying that Love also takes away other virtues such as humility, and accountability, among other things. If paired with 'We always hurt the ones we love
', which really makes sense because you can only really hurt those to whom you matter, then never saying sorry just makes you a flat-out jerk. Stay away from me!
"There's nowhere else to go but up."
Hitting rock bottom doesn't automatically imply an eventual unidirectional movement, or improvement. Some people are simply immune to any inertia that could make some difference in their life, or they think they're 'moving up' when in truth they're moving laterally / sideways. This saying doesn't really offer me much comfort because it's simply not true that 'up' is the only space there is other than 'down'.
"If you love someone, let them go / set them free; for if they return they were always yours. If they don't, then they never were"
Why, why, why and most importantly, WHY, would you let go of someone you love??!!! I see no point in tempting either the object of your affection or fate by playing this stupid game! In my book, when you love someone, you do everything in your power to be with them, assuming of course they love you too.
This saying would have been so much better if it went like this: "If you love someone, don't ever let them go. Unless of course they make it crystal clear that they don't love you back. If that were the case, then don't even take them in if they decide to come back. That's not a sign that they were always yours. It's a sign that you could be playing second best to someone or something. Either that or you're dealing with someone who doesn't know what he/ she wants. That kind of ambivalent energy is something you wouldn't want to be around, especially where your heart and soul are at stake."
Here's a much shorter version: "If you love someone, just REALLY love and quit playing games.
"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"
This has to be my favorite. I'm sure Nietzsche had some profound reason for stating this but come on now. I can think of a hundred alternative consequences to that which does not end up killing me other than making me stronger. How about what doesn't kill me only makes me paralyzed?...or hopeless?....numb?....or maybe unmotivated?....Feel free to jump right in and supply your own conclusions. Oh, and one more piece of advice. I suggest you not try saying this crap to stroke survivors. I'm just sayin'.....
"Time heals all wounds"
No. It does not. Period.
Can you think of anything else to add to this list of 'not-so-wise words'.