Recently I was asked “Why would God do this?”
I have to admit that I’ve asked myself that same question before. As a parent of child with a serious mental illness, there’s been plenty of times when I felt angry at God, I felt like He didn’t love us and that’s why we were going through all of this pain. I also thought that maybe He was punishing us or rejecting us.
In those feelings, I continued to pray to God and read His word. Then I came to the realization that God doesn’t want us to suffer, He didn’t make this happen to us. We live in an imperfect world. This is not heaven. So there will be disease, there will be hardships and there will be death. God even tells us in the bible that we will suffer trials in this life.
Besides the whole “free will” aspect, I’ve read that God allows trials to happen to sharpen our faith. Our faith grows deeper when we’re going through trials. I read that fruit grows best in the “valleys” (the hard times in life), not the “mountaintops” (where everything is going well). Our greatest character development takes place when we take what we’ve learned on the mountaintop and put it into practice in the valley.
You can also look at it this way, just like the muscles in our bodies, they don’t become stronger unless they’re tested and challenged. By lifting heavier weights, our muscles are pushed to their limits and thus respond by growing bigger and stronger. I think our faith is the same way, you become stronger in faith when your faith is tested, when you’re challenged and brought to your knees and turn your life over to God. I think it’s when life is so overwhelming, when we feel we can’t stand on our own that we’re most likely to let go of trying to control it all and learn to lean on God. It’s how we learn to have faith.
I also believe trials help us to comfort others. I think when we suffer deeply, we can find the greatest comfort from God, then when we’re standing once again, we can be great comfort to those around us.
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.” 2 Corinthians: 1:4
When I look back over the last few years, I can see that I’ve been growing spiritually. I’m changing as a person, hopefully for the better. In blogging alone, I’ve recognized how my own trials are helping others get through theirs. I can also see growth in my middle son who is becoming a child of great faith and compassion because of all he’s gone through with his brother. He even wants to become a pastor to help others. I know many other great things will come out of this challenge in our life, unfortunately it sometimes takes a lifetime to see it. I just have faith that God will use our trials for good.
I really believe that God hasn’t abandoned me and He didn’t cause this to happen, He is by my side, He is holding me up. He gives me strength to keep fighting for my son, to forgive my son when he hurts me and to have hope for my son’s future.
I’m closest to God when my suffering is greatest, I can’t raise my son without him. I can’t do this on my own.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest foryour souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
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I’m a mother of 3 young boys, the oldest suffering from Bipolar 1 Disorder. I write a blog to let go of my pain and to help support others by letting them know they’re not alone.
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