Since re-comitting myself to my blog I made a kind of promise to myself that I would write a post a minimum of every other day. I don't want to promise you or myself even that I will produce one daily as it was that pressure which drove me to the point of sporadic posting which was frankly boring to read and keep track of. According to my clock on my computer I have already failed said promise as I am 55 minutes past the day in which I was supposed to write this post but as I am making the commitment to write it upon arriving home from an evening out after a super busy day (hence the not writing this earlier) I am hoping you will forgive me. Maybe I'll even forgive myself too.
So, to the point of the post...
When I came to terms with the fact that I was pregnant and to become a single Mother I must admit that I dreamed of having a girl. I have not always been the girliest girl in the world (I spent most of my teens wearing baggy jeans and black T-Shirts wide, long, ill-fitting T-Shirts) and I had a much bigger preference for playing with Transformers as a child then Barbie's (I had a small collection of these stick-thin, crazy ladies however and sometimes I would arrive home from school to find that my Mother had fashioned their hair in some different way!). Despite all of this, the thought of having a girl remained important to me. Something that always stays strong in my mind is an argument I had with my Mum one day in which she yelled ''I didn't get along with my Mum so why should we?''. Yes, our relationship wasn't exactly healthy in my early years. This has stuck with me. I've heard people (and family members) say that such relationships with their own mothers has turned them off the thought of having a daughter themselves, feeling in danger of repeating such a relationship again but it had the oppositve effect on me. It only made me want to have a daughter more. I guess in typical teenager style it made me want to prove my Mother wrong. It made me want to show he that it is possible to raise a daughter with whom you have a healthy, good relationship with.
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