Some people are annoyed by the annual Christmas news letter, the one that lists all the apparently awesome things that happened to that family this year...the "my Billy excelled at Harvard" or, "my little Amanda took number one in the fire eating contest..." OK, I never got a Christmas letter that started out like that but fire eating contest! Wouldn't that be awesome? Anyway, put me down as a fan in the I love the annual Christmas news letters... Look, there's so much bad happening all over the country, the fact that at least someone's family had a good time this year gives me hope! Although, at my house, all my kids were awesome! So here is my Christmas News letter this year, feel free to share with all your loser friends...; ) ...I'm kidding of course, don't share!!!
Remember when I told you my oldest son went back to school a couple of years ago. We were so proud that he finally found something he wanted to do with his life...sure we were a little taken back that what he finally wanted to do was grow pot...looking back I can see that maybe bible school would be a poor fit for him...but we were even more shocked to discover that there was an actual school for growing pot...Oaksterdam University in Oakland, California, where (I'm quoting the brochure here) "they have the highest quality training for cannibis"...sadder yet, this is probably the son I'm gonna have to borrow money from in my old age. Oh yes, he graduated last year...we have a cool picture of him with his class. Our son was the only student wearing a tie. What wasn't a big surprise that earlier this year the Feds closed the school.
Shut up, really?
What was more shocking, it was over unpaid taxes, and not pot...
My mom has had some terrible health issues this year, and came quite close to death a couple of times, but it's beyond reason she is still on this earth, looking forward to Christmas. I call it a Christmas miracle...not like the Brady Brunch Christmas miracle where the mom lost her voice and couldn't sing the solo at church until little Cindy Brady said a prayer...although my name is Cindy and I've said alot of prayers this year..."Please God, send more money, please make me thinner, please God send more Xanax, please God help me come up with another idea for a Blogher post..." Of all these prayers my mom surviving to December has certainly been the most rewarding...although I'm also serious about the losing weight one (and maybe the Xanax)...maybe next year...before the State Fair cream puffs...
Also this year, I lost my job, quit smoking and started up again about a hundred times, found a home for our turtle, and learned my cholesterol is 296. That's for another newsletter, another day.
Merry Christmas and much love,
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