Why I Got Into Stand Up Comedy

5 years ago

But More About Me...

Thursday, December 06, 2012

1:36:55 AM


I see (maybe - very nearsighted) that editing in NOT part of the blog her zeitgiest.  My Bio is a bore.  Really.  Tried to add this to it, but no go.  So fageddaboutit okay?

Oh my, and <sigh> first I'll tell you of the ADDs that SUBTRACTS from my life daily.  That's all I'll say on that, but...what was I talking about, oh that great story I read blah, blah, blah.  Get it?  Now, if you Ever have to say 'get it?' do not try stand up comedy.  I don't and haven't for 15 years.  'Cause I find myself saying, "Get it?  Because the husband...more blahs"  BUTT... 

Having just read CHILDLESS AND LOVING IT (not the real name, but, I hope, the intent) I too, am also without kiddies and without husbands or divorces.

And I'm 57 years old, pretty much loving it (wrinkles I could do without as with arthritis) and I feel fairly accomplished about never married, and no children.   Yes, I've been pregnant.  So, I've just made some, if not enemies than emphatic disagree'ers.

.Now maybe that po' me stuff- the AADs and nearsightedness - makes it okay to just tell the good stuff I got in the birth package without undo modesty.

So, I was able to play piano (that was me at the school assembly playing 'Exodus' every year).  Later, taught myself guitar, played alot of Joni Mitchell.  And though I couldn't sing like her, or anyone else you'd want to listen to, sing I did.  Mostly in my bedroom.

I saw I could draw - enough to get my Art teachers to make a fuss - and write well enough to get published once or thrice.  Also made my living writing promotion for S&S.

I received a triple threat in the Arts.  Graduated with a BA in English (something no one in my state, Florida, wants to learn it seems) Summa Cum Loudmouth.  This distinction gives me the hoots since I was always called "meek the squeek" by my not so darling Grandmother and was generally the Listener in my family.

Competition did not come naturally to me and that's just what saying anything to my family took.  Meanwhile, my brother got laughs on car trips saying louder what I'd just mumbled.

Back to graduation from college in Buffalo, where it's very cold 10 months of the year, on a frosty June day of my last days in school, I decided my watercolors showed that I was a talented and unique illustrator which meant I had to go live with my Dad.

So, cut to lots of years later; I found myself on the stage of one "Trubbles Comedy Club" in Manhattan. An all-girls revue.  I mean venue.  So I was not so meek anymore.  And I did all the smaller clubs in Manhattan and Brooklyn and eventually worked my way up to Lower Upstate New York and even got paid.

The whole Standup thing only happened because of the Writers Guild Strike of '89.  It seemed like just the right time to go to LA and sell my 'MoonLighting' script.  I didn't realize that it meant I'd be a Strike Breaker.  I wasn't really a TV writer or anything. 

Wasn't such a good idea, turns out. Not so much. I totally believed in this strike as great TV, film, radio, plays - everything - depends on great writing. Little known secret: Arnold Schwartzenegger and most other actors do not write the lines as they speak them.

So no TV writing.  Though,  I had a great time living in a Sunset Strip motel,  with, mostly, professional daters.  Me, I'd just blast show tunes all night, and hunt for word processing jobs by day. 

Eventually, Los Angeles, the Hollywood Hillswas my home.  And a certain type became my good friends.  Great, nice kids, but there, I never met a youngish (I was 34) person there who was just one thing.

They were all hyphenates; Director-Actor-Makeup Person-Wall Washer-Gaffer. Whatever was called for. And so I was called upon or dragged to a round of auditions. One was for a Game Show called 'SweetHearts' hosted by the great late Charles Nelson Reilly and I got the part.

Well, it was a part. They'd have 3 couples, 2 fake and 1 real. I was part of one of the fake couples. We got all three celebrities to vote us the real couple. Even Ned Beatty!

Because I hated this guy and showed it.  He was a giant next to my elven smallness, a sandals-with-white socks wearer; and a bad smeller.  He was also the idiot who thought that since we got time to practice our 'married act' in my motel room, he could also take me to b...just take me.  Not only did he not get to, and was really happy with me about that, we had to sit in the audience for the taping of, it seemed, months worth of daily shows.  It was cancelled not long after the show I was on aired. 

And so kiddies, even with the Junior High friend that became a William-Morris Agent and had even asked me to send 'something' out to her years before,  I never sold a script.

So, completely frustrated with the nine months of writing  (yup, 9) - I did to make my script 'perfect', and 'hilarious' before heading out to LA.  Besides I was having fun cracking up over all my Miss DiPesto jokes.   By now, I guess you say I wanted to see if I was funny.

Writing funny is so not stand up, but I just lucked out. I guess I just hit the crowd as funny, no matter what I said.  I even got mad at them when I was trying to relay some ironic fact, which really got the big laughs.So, tried out the 'open mike night' at an LA bar and got a lot of laughs. Later, promoters wanted a real number count on those laughs but I gave him a different number. My middle finger. (Yeah, sure I did).

Okay, I should wrap up. I have a new store at Etsy called 'Idol Hands Workshop' where I've had 8 items for sale, 3 of which i sold last night so I gotta go wrap them up too.


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