"What will you study," is the question everyone asks now? When I first started school in 2012, I just told people, "I'll be smarter." What goal do you hope to achieve going to college at 48, “I want to go to Harvard." But on the serious side no one (family and friends) really thought I'd follow through with my plans. Now 2 yrs. later and my acceptance to Smith, everyone is wondering what I'm doing. "If I'm going to go through with this at 50 you need to have something" and I just want to tell people to shut up. I'm 50 its like the best time in my life and I am just happy being here leave me alone. But also at 50 they have a point, what do I want to be?
I keep saying deciding what to do with my "life" is hard. I love the process of learning much more than I would have at 20. I love almost all topics. (With exception math) I feel like it’s so limiting to decide on one field or another. In the last year I've take several placement quizzes, what are your strengths quizzes and what does your personality tell you about your future career. So what did it say? They said I would be happy doing anything. GREAT HELP! And I've got to stop hemming over this and pick. At 50 shouldn't I be clear about what I can and want to do? I look at kids at college and think, 'wow how can they know what do to at 19?' I think we put to much pressure on kids in high school to figure out what to do. That was ok in 1950 when you age expectancy was like 63 but now a kid could have 3 full careers during their life time. Why limit them at such a young age?
I do know what I don't want to do. I don't want to be in Physiologist because I can't be dis-engaged enough not to assume responsibility for others problems. I don't want to fix anyone else’s life in that way either. Plus that degree only means you’re setting yourself up to get a Doctorate. I can't see myself in Science or Medicine, ick and Law, well what would that take?
I do see myself as someone who has to make a difference on the planet and help others. I did Foster care for 12 yrs because its our responsibility to help society and those who are weakest in it. I did High School Exchange for 12 yrs because I believe in the ideals of Exchange of culture for better understanding and possibly peace. (Again I didn't realize how sappy I truly am) I've helped support in-laws and friends by providing them housing in need. So we can see I need to help but not like a nurse. This might explain a bit about why no one felt I would follow through on my education so seriously. In the past I would never ever put my needs first. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, deserved my help and protection above my own comfort or needs. So here in the past someone would have a problem and expect me to stop what I'm doing and fix it. I will put a side my vacation to help you. Don't go out unless I don't need something. I was not a martyr but someone who believed my life didn't matter and my purpose was only so that others would survive. (I suppose I'll explain my upbringing in another post in the future)
SO NOW since I'm still so up in the air about my future career I need to find an answer to the questions everyone asks, "What will you study?" I could just give them an answer and change my mind later but again that would give them the “see I told you so” comments. I know I love history and I know I love Anthropology. I am interested in international relations and I love politics. I would love a job working at a company like my former High School Exchange group in admin. I would love to work at a college running the Study abroad program. But what type of degree would that be? I guess I will keep saying I love the learning so for now I’m a student. What do you think?
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