What do you do for yourself?
What do we do as women for ourselves? This question was presented to me years ago in a woman’s health class. Of course, the instructor calls on me. Maybe I looked like someone that needed a wakeup call.
I replied, “I get my hair done, buy new clothes.” Decorate my house and I work out every day.
No, she said. What do you do for yourself? You buy new outfits and have your hair done for others, so you look good for them. You decorate your house so other people will see what a good decorator you are. You do these things for your man and other people.
Oh sure painting your toenails and cutting your hair in a new wacky way is fun. However, is it something that we are doing for our health? Our mental health. Recharging our energy.
This got me to thinking. At the time I was taking this class, I had two sons and a husband. I was going to school and working a part time job. What was I doing for myself? Well I was taking this class for one thing. However, that was it. Most of my day is consumed with taking care of others.
We are preoccupied with helping others all day. This is true unless you are an Ice Queen then you have no need to read this article. Stop now and join the cold bitches face book. Yes, there is one and here is the link.
So what can we do for ourselves? Our nature is to make sure that our loved ones are happy. I do not know about you but when one of my loved one’s is unhappy, I am unhappy. I stress out about how to make them happy. There is no way around this predisposed behavior we have. We just have to learn to help solve this problem without losing our self in the process.
Do not lose yourself. This is why I am writing this blog. So far, the C.O has stayed away and good because he would have a heart attract from all my type o’s and misspellings of word. In addition, the word context errors would drive him through the roof. Any ways if he helped it would not be mine anymore it would be ours. “As long as you are having fun”, he said. How cute, little old me trying to write something other people would be interested in reading.
So anyways, we need to forgive ourselves for not being perfect and unable to solve every problem all the time. Who can? Why try? Really, I am serious. We can voice our opinion. We can offer a helping hand. We can lend a shoulder to cry on when needed.
Second, we should allow ourselves to take a nap when we get the chance. So what, the laundry need to be done, it will still be there in 20 minutes. What the heck, it is always there. There is always something that needs to be done and it drives me crazy. Huh, why wasn’t that on my boring list. I think I could write a novel on what bores me. Maybe I will. OK, I just checked it out. A novella is 20,000 to 50,000 words long. I could do that. How about you, could you write a novella on all the things that bore you in your daily routine.
We should take a day or just an afternoon off just for whatever we want to do. Well, that would be nice. Sometimes that works out for me. Actually, this is something we need to do. Even if you are a single mother, get someone to baby sit. Most importantly if you are a single mother. Get someone to babysit. You need it. If you can arrange it, take a week. Heck, take a month if you can. I was there and I know it is hard. No wait I mean hell.
Take a yoga class. I love yoga! Here is where I get my yoga information. I practice it at home and sometimes I attend a class. The problem is while I am in a down dog pose, all I am thinking about is when are we going to be done. I have so much to do today. Usually though when we finish I am relaxed and refreshed and ready for the rest of the day. As soon as I leave the class, the phone will ring and someone has a problem. My Zen is now gone and I am back to where I was before I came into my class. I must say though it is helping little by little.
Keep a journal so we can go back and see what unhealthy patterns we are following or what we have been doing good with and reinforcing it. I just started doing this. Amazing how I have gotten to be this age and have not really done this.
Saying no when you mean no. This has been said to us repeatedly but yet we hesitate to really practice this. Here is a scenario. You really do not want to get the stupid baseball game. However, you go anyways. Thought out the whole trip you are angry, mumbling under your breath because you would much rather be somewhere else. Anywhere but where you are. Now are you having fun and is the person that you are with having fun? They can tell you are not because you are not smiling. They can hear your sarcasm and you keep mumbling under your breath. Now if you would have said no, stuck to it and had someone else go with this person. Someone that wanted to really go. You would probably be taking a long bath with wine and candles and then taking a nap.
OK, I am done with the blah, blah, blah, now with all that said. Bottom line. You know who you are. If you do not know who you are, figure it out, fast! Then claim your power. Do not be afraid of it. Do not let anyone take it away from you. In addition, do not take it away from others. Now get out there, and be woman. Empowered women that claim their power and know what they need for themselves. And take naps, when they want to.
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