Well, Now I Just Have Too Much Butter - Or Why Paying for Food is Stupid.

5 years ago

Good morning, readers!

I hope you are all enjoying your day so far.

I’m out of coffee, so I’m starting my day off with a nice cup of hot cocoa – which I am so not hating. If there wasn’t the lack of caffeine, I might start my day like this every day… Oh wait, isn’t that what a mocha is for? Eh, now it all sounds like too much work.

The other day, Dragon took me grocery shopping, because I had a lot of very generous tippers at the restaurant this week, so I decided I should treat myself to more than just the essentials. The problem is that I really don’t go grocery shopping that often. I go to the store when I need to go to the store, but I don’t stock up on stuff for long-term feeding. This is why I need Dragon, a grocery-shopping-deal-finding master, to take me. Here is a sample of our conversations:

Me: Oooo, can I get these?

Dragon: What? Are you kidding? Those are like 5 dollars a pound! You should never pay that much.

Me: But I want them…

Dragon: Not at that price you don’t.


Dragon: Do you want broccoli?

Me: Um… I guess?

Dragon: Well you’re a vegetarian, isn’t that one of the best things for you?

Me: Um… I guess?

Dragon: Fine. Don’t get broccoli.

Me: No, wait! I’ll get it!

Dragon: Actually… now that I’m looking at it, none of it looks very good… Don’t get broccoli.

Me: Oh, but now I want broccoli…

Dragon: Too bad. Sucks to be a vegetarian in the winter. Hey, look at all that yummy meat!

Me: >:(


Me: But I don’t need Cheez-Its.

Dragon: Yes you do, you never have snacks, plus these are on sale.

Me: Because they’re such a waste of money! You just eat them and then they are gone.

Dragon: Yes.. as with all food…


Dragon: [loading groceries in the car] Are you okay?

Me: [staring blankly into the abyss] I just spent so much money on stuff I don’t need…

Dragon: No, you need this. It’s food.


Dragon: [putting groceries away at home] Oh, it looks like we accidentally bought two packs of butter.

Me: Can we return one and get my money back?!

Dragon: What? No. It’s butter. You always use butter. Plus, that would only be like… two bucks.

Me: I could do use two dollars…

Dragon: For what?



And that is the story of how I cannot cope with spending large amounts of money on myself. Although, I will admit that it was really nice to be able to just cook myself dinner last night without having to go anywhere to pick something up… and I can do that again tonight, too! Oh no.. I’m becoming accustomed to this new lifestyle… This could end terribly.

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