The Welcome Mat: A Virtual Venn Diagram

5 years ago


I’ll start this off with my usual flippant “Bring it on.”

There is a child’s world, and there is an adult’s world.  Often, they intersect.  Sometimes, they don’t, and each is best kept in his/her proper section.  Those who believe adults belong in every aspect of the child’s world are intruding, behaving inappropriately, and are probably very unwelcome.  Those who believe children belong in every aspect of the adult’s world are equally intruding, behaving inappropriately, and are no doubt very unwelcome.

Most of the time, the world is open to us all, and everybody is welcome.  The problem arises when someone is of the opinion that his/her own personal point of view is everybody’s point of view, and if it’s not, seeks to make it so. “This benefits MEEEEE, so everybody else needs to chill.”  Um, no.

Just as adults are creepy and intrusive when children are trying to interact with each other, children can be creepy and intrusive when adults are trying to interact with each other.

Nobody is welcome everywhere.  Why should they be?  Most places, yes.  Come on in.  Bring the kids.

But some places?  Come on in.  Children only on the playground, please.  Adults, stay back.  And other places?  Come on in.  Adults only, please.  Children, stay back.

Find out ahead of time and save us all a lot of whining, disappointment, grief, stress, complaining, elitism, pushing, insisting, indignation, and tears.  I’m talking to all of you, no age limit.

P.S.  If your kid poops in the theater and you don’t snatch it up and run like bloody hell for the door before the smell grows feelers and crawls into everybody else’s nostrils for a good long stay because you paid for a ticket, too, and deserve to see the film without interruption, you’re a jerk.  This applies to everywhere else on the planet.

P.P.S.  If you go to a child-friendly establishment of any kind and think you’ve got a right to make an equally repulsive stink because a family dared let themselves be seated near you, you’re a jerk, too.  This also applies to everywhere else on the planet.

P.P.P.S.  If the children have lovely public manners, please feel free to step over and tell the parents so.  If you’re rich, buy their dinner.  Seriously.  Well-behaved kids’ parents don’t get nearly enough public attention; people seem to save it for the disruptive kids’ parents.

To quote Inigo Montoya, “Let me sum up.”

Find out a place’s policies before you show up at the door. Do not assume anything, if you've never been there before   If you’re welcomed in, behave yourself and make sure everybody with you does likewise.  If everybody behaves, nobody else has any right to whine.  If someone in your party – no age limit – refuses to act nicely and seriously annoys other people – for whatever reason – go home and try again in a year.

There is a time and a place for adults to interact with children, and there is a time and a place for children to interact with adults.  There are also times and places for children only and adults only.

Before I forget: adults do NOT belong in the midst of an Easter egg hunt that is intended for small children.  Shame on any adult who runs out there and “helps” a kid win.  I’ve seen ‘em knock little kids down trying to beat them to a golden egg.  Sad, pathetic entities, those. If your child is too little to hunt eggs without help, he/she is too little to participate.

As for adults who scream obscenities or demand exceptions at children’s ball games. . . they’re all going to hell, and the devil is disgusted, too.

I repeat:  Bring it on.

Shhhh, hear that sound?  That’s the universe, applauding.


(Cross-posted at Scheiss Weekly.)


"Don't be content with being average. Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top."

Jane blogs as "Mamacita" at Scheiss Weekly, hitting the fan like nobody can.

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