We accidentally made our son eat lip gloss.

3 years ago

We took the kids to Party City to buy balloons. In case you don't have one of these mega stores near you, it's just as the name implies: a veritable city's worth of everything you need to throw a party.

And there is candy. Bins and bins of sweets strategically placed at kid-grabbing height.

If you make it through the store without fistfuls of lollipops and bubble gum, you still have to navigate the mini-maze to the checkout counters where there are even more bins. Pop Rocks! Jolly Ranchers! Tootsie Rolls!

While we stood in line after getting the balloons, Hudson investigated the candy containers, which of course requires touching everything. He withdrew his hand from a bin and he had two dollops of green, glittery goop on his fingers. Something had been opened and it oozed on him. 

Just before we left for Party City I cleaned out my purse and took out the tissues I usually carry. "Nobody is sick. No runny noses," I thought. "Of course I won't need tissues on this short trip to the store." So, as you can see, in my smugness I was just asking for a slimy mess to happen.

And it did.

With nothing useful in sight to wipe off his fingers, Hudson asked, "Do I have to lick this off?"


Lucas answered glumly, "I guess you're going to have to, buddy."

Yes, I was against this. I mean, just think of the germs! But I did nothing to intervene. I stood there, a paralyzed bystander.

So Hudson did it. He licked that sticky stuff off his finger and then said, "Ewwww! YUCK!"

Okay, not the reaction I was expecting. It was candy, for goodness sake. Watermelon-flavored, made-by-Nerds candy. What could taste so bad?

This was the moment Lucas decided to inspect the package. It wasn't a sour, syrupy concoction, after all. IT WAS LIP GLOSS.

Of course we felt terrible about this parenting fail. So how did we make up for it? In the easiest, most obvious way under the circumstances.

We bought him a sucker.


by Melissa Choate

Visit my blog, Nouns and Violets. It's entertaining and zero calories.

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