Very often my reaction upon reading my horoscope is:

7 years ago
Very often my reaction upon reading my horoscope is to decide that there was once a massive glue failure at the old Winnebago hospital. One day, in the nursery all the little ID bands around all the little newborn ankles came apart. All those little kicking feet sent the loose ID bands floating about the room. The nurses were all in the break room watching As The World Turns. Once back at their duties, and presented with the Great ID Band Disaster of 1965, they decided on that good-old standby in times of trial:  The Cover-Up.

I'm really someone else.

This is the only explanation I can think of for why on a morning when I am having trouble getting my left eyeball to rotate properly, after a night in which I dreamed all night about a strange little man who appeared from out of the darkness and keyed my car, and when my first thought upon waking was that the cat was dead (I have no cat), this is my horoscope:


Red-hot Mars combines forces with electrifying Uranus today, zapping you with lightning bolts of awareness and shocking you awake. You could have trouble containing yourself because you're primed for action. Luckily, you are connected to your inner spirituality in a profound way now, so your impulsive and passionate nature can be very inspiring to others.

A Prawn of Fate

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