There are probably thousands of reasons why I should be working on my resume right now with the top reason being...my husband said "do it!"...
I had a really nice resume made three years ago that I thought I still had somewhere, with somewhere being the operative word...I have a resume somewhere that really doesn't matter because the skills I have listed on it doesn't apply to any job outside of the radio world...And I know that because I just read a new article off of Monster.com AND LinkedIn (so it's got to be true) that claims that all the Fortune 500 jobs are using robots to read the resumes that are submitted for jobs. Depressing. And all this time I thought it was because my resume sucked. Nope. It was just because I couldn't get past the robots, making my resume sound like the equivalent of a Playstation game. All that is missing are headphones so I can hear all the other resumes screaming as they get shot down by the robots. No wonder I'm sitting here playing mahjong instead of typing up a new resume..."Why bother if I'm just going to get shot down by robots?"
Wearing the Bee head at the Wisconsin State Fair is not a job skill unfortunately, but it should be. I got a real headache from wearing that thing!
On closer read I noticed that this article gave some very good advice about what you should and should not do to get past the robots;
Use keywords, or adjectives that describe your work ethic (conscious, driven, consciously driven), and avoid abbreviations, spelling out manager instead of using mgr. This would be a real problem for me as I have never managed anything (my time, weight, money) so obviously it wasn't that particular word manager that got my resume bounced.
But this article by Eric Larson entitled Meet The Robots Reading Your Resume has given me some food for thought and that is I have a piece of broasted chicken left over from lunch sitting in the fridge that I really should eat before one of my kids get it...
I am a team player, my station needed someone to bounce in the bouncy thing and I jumped right in!
Opps...Team player is not on the list, but the words conscious and consciously driven are two words that I've intersected with especially in my last old job, before this one...
I am conscious of the fact that there is a mat in front of me and these girls are expecting me to perform a summersault.
I am consciously driven to make a fool out of myself.
Wouldn't that be cool if that got my resume past the robots! Especially if it was for a job that required bouncing!
Or wearing a big hat?
Or standing next to someone wearing a weird hat?
Or serving barbecue at a radio appearance at a furniture store?
This last thought has got me thinking...I could get a job where I serve food..."Would you like fries with that?"
Fries...that's right! There are a few fries left with that broasted chicken downstairs in the fridge. Man, I hope the kids haven't found that yet...I really should go down and get it...Oh wait, what about my resume? Forget it, my husband's asleep.
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