Last night after I had finally finished the wrapping and made sure that the stockings were stuffed and the cinnamon rolls were ready to roll in the morning, I laid down and closed my eyes. I thought of how tired I was, then my 19 month old woke up, and I wanted to cry.......I was so exhausted. After I finally got him back to sleep, I lay there and thought to myself, " Wow, how incredibly selfish I was to be upset that my son woke up and disturbed me when all I wanted to do was sleep. There are 20 families in Newtown,CT that would give anything to have their children be there in any manner, alive, whether crying or not. I was so ashamed of myself, and I turned to God. First to ask for forgiveness, second to ask for him to help comfort those grieving parents.
I AM so thankful, this year more than most, that I had all 4 of my children home, sleeping in their beds, waiting for Christmas morning when we could all be together, no matter how frustrating we can be, at least we were together.
I wish there was something more I could do for those families, all of them, but all I have is prayer. All I can do is try to teach my children to be loving and respect others, and to be a friend to anyone who may need them.
I think of those families every day, and I am just beginning to not cry when I do. As painful as it is for me, a mother with 4 children, I cannot even begin to imagin what it must be like to have this Christmas without the smiling face of one of my children.
Lord, please heal their wounds, and bless those poor little souls who you have called up to be with you. Help us all to be kind to one another, to heal our hearts and let us love our children the best we can.
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