Probably should have read my own blog entry from yesterday, so I could be prepared for the day at hand. The lessons are coming quickly--exteriorly and interiorly. Gurudev and I made an arrangement that I can block out the world and if he wants to relay something to me, he will call me over. It isn't like this is happening very often, so I must have been in some different zone when I here him calling. He is explaining that there is a person on the phone who wants to talk to me about the letter I had given him yesterday. What? I was going to ask Gurudev to rip the letter up into small pieces or burn it--and he shared it with someone? Ego going into overload: shock and horror were the two words that immediately came to mind.
What did I say yesterday--learn to accept what is. I had some trepidation about sharing my "Three Principles of Life" with Gurudev for fear of misinterpreting and over simplifying the Vedic Teachings, but mistakes are very useful opportunities for learning. So why would this person want to talk to me about them? Was this like getting sent to the principles office for bad behavior? Of course, I couldn't understand a single word on the phone--probably hearing loss from living with my ear buds on during all my walks. And then the phone cut off. I asked Gurudev if he had any idea what he wanted to tell me. To compliment me on the content and style of presentation....exemplary word choice and scholarly simplification. Now I find myself squirming at the amount of praise being offered.
What did I write in the blog about not taking a stick to myself at all times. Accepting compliments has always been uncomfortable for me. They just meant that you were not in trouble. The pendulum of life continues to swing from one side to the other. At least, I hadn't belittled the Vedic Teachings. That side of the pendulum had time to settle down before I was called up again while the person was sitting at the feet of Gurudev and went through the generous complimentary offerings in person, but this time, I was better able to stay out of my ego/fear zone and know that it was all the Divine. Hollowness 101.
(As I reflect, it was odd to me that someone of that scholarly level was so impressed with "my" interpretation of the information, but it really is some sort of cosmic download. He wanted to give me credit for extreme intelligence and brilliant insight, but I am not either. I am very simple. I do ask a lot of questions and can observe the world around, but moments of transformation from an idea to the paper come from something greater than I. Literally, I am only a tool in the transition of information. I have experienced that for years while teaching riding. I hadn't put the two together until faced with praise in such an unexpected aspect of my current life. More teachings.)
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