Take My Money...Please!

13 days ago

Our school is having a fundraiser, would you be interested in participating?

Of course, would $20 be okay?

Well actually, we’re selling this wrapping paper/frozen food/candy bar/useless-mass-produced-plastic…

Oh, that’s okay. I don’t really need that. I would prefer to just donate the money.

But you can’t do that.

Why not?

Because we’re selling this wrapping paper/frozen food/candy bar/usless-mass-produced-plastic-needed-by-no-one-novelty-that-will-clutter-your-closet-until-you-foist-it-on-someone-else-guised-as-a-gift…

Really, it’s okay. I’d rather just give the money to your school.

But you can’t do that…

Because we’re selling this wrapping paper/frozen food/candy bar/usless-mass-produced-plastic-needed-by-no-one-novelty-that-will-clutter-your-closet-until-you-foist-it-on-someone-else-guised-as-a-gift-that-I-have-to-sell-2,000-of-to-get-a-$10-trinket-or-face-scholastic-shame-and-scorn…

What if I just give you $10 and donate the other $10 to the school on your behalf?

But you can’t…

Because we’re selling this wrapping paper/frozen food/candy bar/usless-mass-produced-plastic-needed-by-no-one-novelty-that-will-clutter-your-closet-until-you-foist-it-on-someone-else-guised-as-a-gift-that-I-have-to-sell-2,000-of-to-get-a-$10-trinket-or-face-scholastic-shame-and-scorn-because-for-every-million-dollars-of-product-we-push-Philanthropic-Frauds-And-School-Scammers-will-donate-.000002%-and-put-the-rest-in-their-pockets-instead-of-into-school-programs…

But $10 is 50% of $20 isn’t it?

I don’t know.

Why not?

Because we’re selling this wrapping paper/frozen food/candy bar/usless-mass-produced-plastic-needed-by-no-one-novelty-that-will-clutter-your-closet-until-you-foist-it-on-someone-else-guised-as-a-gift-that-I-have-to-sell-2,000-of-to-get-a-$10-trinket-or-face-scholastic-shame-and-scorn-because-for-every-million-dollars-of-product-we-push-Philanthropic-Frauds-And-School-Scammers-will-donate-.000002%-and-put-the-rest-in-their-pockets-instead-of-into-school-programs-like-basic-math-that-help-us-actually-understand-the-consequenses-of-cutting-funding-so-far-we’re-forced-to-fundraise-for-our-futures-in-the-first-place.

And after all of that, the school can’t just take my money?

Nope.

WHY THE HELL NOT?!?!

Because we’re selling this…

Hey kid, if I just give you this $20, will you go away?

Yeah, but I’m not sure if I can make change.

I’m beginning to wonder if any of us can.

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