Stop the Victim Shaming

6 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Victim Shaming:

Urban Dictionary describes it as:

When the victim of an event is blamed, or partially blamed, for their own attack. Mainly used in context with rape, domestic abuse, sexual harassment and sexual assault, but can be applied to other situations. It wrongly shifts blame from the guilty party onto the victim, and therefore doesn’t (or makes it more difficult to) punish the one truly at fault. The term was popularized by the SlutWalk movement, which started after a Canadian police officer advised female students to “avoid dressing like sluts” in order to avoid being victimized.

Now that we got the term explanation out of the way onto the reason I am even writing about it!

I used to be pretty active on the Cafemom forums. I left last year sometime and now I remember why. Out of morbid curiosity this weekend I clicked back over when I had some free time. I should have been scheduling posts and wrapping up some last minute client work I had to do but I felt like I needed “me” time to catch up on all those things I used to love to do.

There was one of the typical Pro-Choice Vs. Pro-Life posts in which virtually everyone was bashing each other and then one woman who was trying to make a point about abortion and why she is pro-life used the following quote trying to make a point.

“Just as peoples have different views of abortion..they do of rape. A denver bronco was just found not guilty of rape here. The woman got so drunk she didn’t even know if she concented or not. IMO that’s her fault for drinking to that point….and not rape..although many saw it as rape.”

First thing that came to my mind?  Did she really just blame a rape victim for being raped?
Instead of jumping on her for that I simply replied something about flawed logic and how that statement was probably the most misogynistic thing I had heard in a while minus the whole Rush Limbaugh saga.

I was in disbelief.

There was a woman – a woman who coined herself pro-life blaming a woman for being raped. Blaming her.

Victim shaming because she should have known better and known her limit when it came to drinking alcohol.


I am sure she also blames women who are dressed slutty for being attacked.

For a woman — a MOTHER to actually place blame on this woman turned my stomach.
That woman who was assaulted is someones CHILD!

And this is one of the reasons women cannot get ahead and still struggle to be treated equal in society. Because you have backwards ass women thinking it is ok to hate on other women and be just as misogynistic as Rush Limbaugh calling women who use birth control sluts.

FAIL America!

Come on ladies!  Get on the same fucking team already!

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