Still Bottomless

4 years ago

My shopping day started with two very simple missions: buy a pair of pants and a new shade of red lipstick.

The pants were a ginormous fail. Losing 28 pounds has been wonderful, but it has stranded me in the dreaded purgatory of In Between Sizes.

The Gobi desert is more habitable than living in a state where you almost fit into one size, but not quite. At least in the Gobi they wear flowing material.

I was able to squeeze into the smaller size, but squatting down to test the PSI of the seams was a bit risky. I could even button them, after inhaling and sucking in my gut so much that I swear I drained all the oxygen out of the dressing room...women were dropping like flies in the rooms around me. 

The next size up gaped way too much in the waist. The giant cavern between the fabric and my skin is usually a sign that the pants will stretch beyond aesthetically pleasing within the first hour. Also, if my shirt isn't long enough then the whole world gets to see whether it is sexy panties day or granny panties marching ever northward where they'll come to rest just under my boobs.

So, new pants will have to wait until another 10 pounds gets tired of hanging around and moves on to someone else. It does have to go somewhere, you know. You may be next. *I'm looking at you, dear reader...I apologize in advance*

The lipstick was a success! While I love the color it isn't EXACTLY what I was looking for. When my lips were oodles younger I wore a shade that likely doesn't exist today - but I'm on the hunt for something close. I'll keep y'all posted.

p.s. Whew, almost forgot my NaBloPoMo post today. Under the wire again.

p.p.s. Speaking of under wire, I need a new bra.

p.p.p.s. I'd rather walk willingly unarmed into a dinner party hosted by zombies, where I'm the entree, than go bra shopping. It's the damn tags, they're deadly...paper cuts hurt, ya know!

p.p.p.p.s. (nope, got nothing....)

This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from living

by Julie Sprankles | a day ago
by Julie Sprankles | 7 days ago
by Michelle Carlbert | 7 days ago
by Fairygodboss | 12 days ago
by Catherine Conelly | 12 days ago
by Sarah Brooks | 13 days ago
by Julie Sprankles | 13 days ago
by Justina Huddleston | 14 days ago
by Fairygodboss | 19 days ago