The Slippery Slope of the SAHM Resume

6 years ago

This afternoon I finally did it.  I dug my decrepit resume from the bowels of my computer hard drive.  Thank God I remembered to transfer it from the floppy disc it once filled several generations of computers ago.   I think it belongs in those long ago days.  It is ugly.  It is barren.  It has a great big seven year hole glaring out for all to see.

How do I escape from the SAHM black hole?

With half of Hubby's office about to get the ax and the survivors hoping to cope with pay and benefit cuts, I decided it might be time to test out the waters.  I don't know if anyone will think I am qualified to hold any position.  I keep reading horror stories of how college educated SAHMs can't even score an interview yet kids with the ink still wet on their high school diplomas get the job.  And  I suck at rejection.

After I nearly cried in desperation, I edited some of the job description/accomplishments/bragging passages. Honestly, they were so long ago I have no idea what "increased sales by 70%" means.  Was it $20,000?  $100,000?  $1,000,000?  "I cannot recall,"  would not be a suitable answer in an interview.

I am also a career changer.  I do not want to go back to the retail 60-hour workweeks and insane customers unless my house is on the line.  My last employer, the wonderful State of Florida, is currently laying off a significant portion of its experienced and dedicated staff (a.k.a. possibly the Hubby) so there are no opportunities there.   What's a girl to do?

My main concern now is the black hole.  Do I fill it with one of the snarky "SAHM & Domestic Goddess Engineer" job descriptions?   It's not as if I have spent the last seven years on the couch eating Thin Mint cookies while watching HGTV  (just a teeny tiny bit when Kiddo was just an infant and napping).  I've raised an intelligent, independent, well-adjusted kid.  I've kept us afloat on a single pitiful government employee salary.   I taught myself new skills as I remodeled my house, doing most of the labor myself.   I helped run a popular Moms' Group, been paid to taste popcorn and had interesting Japanese product engineers take samples of my hair.  I write and take photos for a blog (although I never made any money from it) and I'm so close to completing the first draft of my novel (which I may now never finish).

But does any of that count on a resume?

 

To anyone out there in the real world I'm just a Stay At Home Mom.

 

Vinobaby is a SAHM and budget bon vivant trying to survive suburbia while attempting to write the Great American Novel. Discover more of her musings and rants at http://vinobaby.blogspot.com .

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