What is our obsession with getting our children to sleep all night (besides sleep for ourselves of course)? Pressure from others, perhaps? Usually one of the first questions people asks a new mother is “how is baby sleeping?” It is the one thing we feel the most pressure to get "right". This results in inaccurate and unhealthy expectations and promotes dangerous practices.
So how is YOUR child sleeping… really? Tell it like it is so other mothers will know. Can you remember how your child slept at 1 month or 2 months? If so, send me a sleep “diary” about your child and with your permission I will compile and index of as many as possible for a blog post, "Sleep Uncensored".
Tell me how old your baby is,where they sleep, how long, how often they nurse, if they still nap,the best way to get them to sleep... and so on.
Email them to: firstname.lastname@example.org"
Kristen Balan DiBella
Francie is 9 months tomorrow, sleeps with me and my husband and always has. Since about 5 months she wakes anywhere from 2-10 times a night. She usually nurses right back to sleep only on occasion will be up longer and will require one of us to actually get out of bed to rock,walk, etc. Before 5 months we were very lucky and she consistently only woke up about 2x per night to eat (every 3-4 hours). She usually takes two naps a day totalling about 3 hours. Goes to bed between 7-8 and is up at 6:30am. She has gotten more difficult to get to sleep lately (used to just rock/nurse) but now I do that and my husband has to be 'the closer' to walk her to sleep for another 15 mins or so. Even then sometimes we have to repeat the whole process so she'll stay asleep once put down. I stopped telling people about all the night wakings bc I was tired of getting all the baby training 'advice'. We're pretty content just the way things are! Luckily I'm a SAHM and can occasionally get a nap in with her :)
I usually answer 'like a baby' - keeps everyine happy without lying or getting into an argument.
Mr 4 went to sleep at 9 after being at a birthday party. He has cried out twice both taking a few minutes to resettle. Miss 11 months went to sleep on the boob about 9:30 and I've just finished feedin/settling her for the 2nd time.
Diana Taylor Derrough
My baby is 11.5 months old and sleeps in our bed. He usually wakes up a few times a night, but last night he slept through until 6am. I have 4 other kids, so I have been through this a few times and have always just went with their needs, even during the night. I guess I was aware of the fact that babies wake up at night needing to be fed, haha. I know eventually they do sleep through the night, so I am never in any hurry.
My 9mo goes to bed when we do, usually 9 or 10. Falls asleep in our bed while nursing and wakes up a minimum of 2 or 3 times to nurse. And wakes around 8 or 9 in the morning. Im sure it would be more difficult if we didn't bed share because this way she doesn't even fully wake up and I nurse her back to dreamland rather quickly. Some days she has 2 45 min naps, some says she's too busy and won't nap at all.
My baby boy is nearly 1 still don't sleep through has 2 naps per day usually about an hour each morning and afternoon he sleeps in my bed and during the night can wake from
1-4 times depending on the night sometimes just for a cuddle
My 2 month old sleeps in bed with me, his 1 year old brother, and his daddy. Usually he wakes up 2 or 3 times at night. He usually nurses every 3 hours but last night he actually went about 4 or 5 hours without eating. He naps basically like a normal 2 month old.
My 26 month old still wakes up at least once a night and is nursed back to sleep. He's never, that I can remember, slept through the night.
My 18 month old sleeps 7-7 and my 4 month old sleeps 7.30-5/6. My 18 month old wakes sometimes for her dummy. I've never sleep trained and they both set their own routine. My 4 month old started sleeping through at 11 weeks, my 18 month old at about 8 weeks. She did go through a 4 month regression, waking to bf about 20 times a night, this lasted 2 months.xx
Rebecca Barwick Elowski
My son night nursed at least twice a night until 18 months and once a night until a little over 2 yrs when I night weaned. He sleeps 10.5-11.5 hours or more per night or more now at almost 3 yrs. he loves bedtime and sleeps great. We still cosleep, never CIO.
Kara Blake Sylvester
My 21 month old has never slept through the night. She wakes to nurse 3-5 times a night and people are horrified when they hear that. I, however, am perfectly fine with cuddling her all night and waking when she needs me. I'm a parent 24/7. I know she'll sleep when she's ready, as evidenced by her big sister who sleeps 12 hours without a peep.
Cheryl Wright Johnson
I know it. I have a 10-month-old. There can be pressure in this area and I have tried a couple times to have him sleep in his crib. I finally decided we will do what works for us and not apologize. For us that means he sleeps with me so we all get a semi-decent night's sleep. For now, it My baby sleeps with me on couch, when he wakes if he wants to nurse, I nurse him. If I can walk him back to sleep, I do that. He still wakes at least 2 or 3 times a night and that's even with him sleeping on my chest.
My kids sleeping habits are constantly changing...one week my 3 year old is up...the next week my 4 year old. Imagine how many times a night you wake...I also have an 18 month old who sleeps half the night with us. We just go with the flow!
My son of 8 months, sleeps in bed with me and his dad. He'll go down any time between 6.30/9pm, sometimes later..it all depends on if he has a early evening nap. He sometimes only sleeps for 40mins before waking up, or between 3/4 hours. Mainly wakes up with wind or for a feed, so as many as 2-5 times a night. We usually get up around 630/7am. The longest stretch he's gone is 6 hours xx
I co sleep with our 5yr old and 6mth old, baby nurses 4-6 times a night. My husband cosleeps with our 2 yr old in a different bed, only our 3.5 yr old sleeps in her own bed. We do whatever it takes so that everyone gets some sleep knowing that it wont be forever. I am sure i will have many years of sleeping through on my own and i bet i miss this time.
My 13 month old doesn't sleep through the night yet. We cosleep, and she usually gets two naps during the day. She usually ends up falling asleep around 930 or so, earlier if she missed a nap or got woken up.
That is always the first question people ask me, or second if they ask how old she is first. Followed by, is she a good baby? All babies are good babies! My little one has been sleeping through the night on her own since just over a month old (6 to 7 hours), I was SHOCKED. And she is now 4 months sleeping between 10 and 11 hours at night. No sleep training, but we do cosleep. But even if she was waking me every hour, she would still be a good baby!
Missy Murdock Bryant
I have a 20 month old who use to wake every 2 hours to eat through the night. She wakes about every 45 mins when teething. It was very rough. For the past 2 weeks, she has gone to waking only once or twice a night unless something is bothering her. She goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 and wakes up between 6 and 7. She sleeps with me and my husband in our bed.
Adults wake often @ night, to use the bathroom, nightmare, turning over to get that cool side of the pillow....so y shouldn't babies get comfy?
I feel like when peopled asked about sleep I felt supported and cared about. I just needed to tell someone how tired I was! Now that he does STTN I love to tell people about that too. But my guy went though phases- newborn, teething, one year development were the times he woke up the most. He consistently slept thru at 15 months. Co-sleeping has been the easiest way to get through it.
My four yr old son has his own bedroom which he helped decorate but 5 nights out of 7 sleeps with cosleeps with mummy,his choice he gets in around 11pm wraps his little arms around me and sleeps till around 7am...wonderful and if i,m honest the nights he chooses to sleep in his own bed i miss him!! :)
My 2 year old still wakes several times a night as a newborn it was 45 mins between settling feeds and yes it was hell but we got there and now settles quickly even though wakings can be anywhere from 1 to god knows what a night !!
I think I assumed babies sleep well as that's all you ever see !
My 6.5 month old is nowhere near sleeping through the night yet; and that's perfectly fine. She's slowly adding more time between nursing at night. She will sleep through the night when she's ready!
Up until my lb was 5.5 months he went to sleep at 7:15 woke at 4:00 for a feed then bk to sleep until 6am. He's now 7mo n goes down at 7:15 wakes at 6:30, he stirs sometime because he's lost his dummy. He's been in his own room in a cot since 3mo only because he would always wake up if me or my partner coughed or turned over in bed. He loves being in his own room, never had any tears off him. I do cwtch him to sleep after his last bottle. He has one 1hr nap in the morning & 2x20 min naps in the afternoon. X
Eryn Cahill Stainsby
My three year old still wakes at night, usually once or twice, and either one of us goes to her double bed to sleep with her ( at least until she falls asleep anyway, then maybe sneak back) or she just climbs in with us. We always lay down with her to get her to sleep, her bedtime is 7pm and she's usually up at about 6am for the day.
We also have an 18 month old who has never slept in our bed, she actually prefers to sleep alone, she goes into her cot without complaint at 6.30pm and wakes about 6.30am. I breastfed her to sleep until recently as well but now she has lost interest and weaned she is happy to go to bed sleep on her own. Never have done CC or CIO, she didn't need to be TAUGHT to sleep and my older daughter just likes extra cuddles when she wakes up and it's dark and cold, can't argue with that!
Oh my 3 yr old doesn't nap anymore, my 18 month old has a two hour nap at lunch time
Katy Peeters Chamberlain
I have an 8mth old who part co-sleeps and part sleeps rooming in in his cot. up to 5 months old he slept in a hammock rooming in. at the moment he sleeps from around 6pm to 11pm then wakes around 3-4am then wakes again around 6.30am. he is full time breast fed so he feeds 3 times a night. when he was unwell the other day I rang the 24 hr nurse service available with our health insurance and she said "poor you' for me having to 'feed that often'..i thought..'that the!!' all the breast fed babies in my mothers group are feeding 2-3times a night..all the formula babies are sleeping through. i think its quite normal. anyway sometimes he stirs and my husband just goes in and resettles. I also breast feed before bed and he pulls of when he is full and goes straight to sleep. I feel that’s why our milk contains the cholecystine. natures cues.
My daughter wakes up every 3 hrs and is 13 months....she used to wake up every two hrs and for a while (or so it seemed) woke up to BF every hour when she was 3-4 months
Our son didn't start sleeping without waking up until recently (he's over 2) but prior to that, we were up like clockwork every two hours to nurse until he started on some solids (7mo.) and then he would be up at least twice a night for a quick nurse until he hit about 14 mo. Then it slowed to one wake up call at around 6am for a little nursing session. We co-slept, so I was always able to keep him pretty close to "asleep" while we nursed which I think is why he would go back down easily.
I thought my son was actually supposed to be sleeping through the night at 3 months, til I found out the clinical definition of "through the night" is only 5-6 hours. What a relief!
It's funny, when my daughter was younger I hit a point where I started just fessing up and telling people my baby wasn't going to bed til at least 9.30/10pm (and often later). I had so many people saying it was the same in their house and they always looked so relieved to be able to tell someone! I think there's far more "night owl" babies out there than many experts would have you believe...
Levi made such funny faces in his sleep as a newborn. Even now, he will laugh in his sleep
Uhhh yeah my baby boy has now pushed bedtime to 10:30 - 11pm!! We cosleep and I often fall asleep with him still awake in my arms as he babbles away until he falls asleep too :-) x
We were the few fortunate parents whose baby slept "through the night" (aka 5-6 hrs) at 4 wks and then slept up to 13 hrs overnight.
Before you berate me however, let's just say everything balances out...my daughter started getting nightmares at 18 mths and we've been sleep-deprived ever since! She is now over 3 yrs old.
Kimberley Hodgdon Landsman
oh man. that question. my son was a collicky preemie on oxygen in the mountains. he didn't sleep. what's great is that I started just telling them like it was. My answer would be something to the tune of, "baby isn't sleeping. IN FACT baby hasn't slept out of my arm since he was born." and then no one ever knew what to say.
Jen Eighmey Meyer
my son is 15 months old and still wakes up about 3 times a night. He has never ever slept all night. There are good nights (once or twice waking) and BAD nights, lol. There's always teething, and growth spurts and other factors. Yeah, I'd like more sleep but whatcha gonna do?
My son will be 5 in June, sleeps in his own bed through the night mostly, but pretty much needs me to lay down with him each night so he will allow himself to fall asleep. The way I see it, it is an opportunity for us to bond and cuddle everyday. One day I know he won't need me like this and I will miss it :)
yes! so much 'sleep guilt' from some people. Mine used to wake lots and still at 20 months usually wakes at least once a night, and wakes around 5 and comes into bed for a cuddle. You always wonder if you're supposed to being doing something different...
Baby 1 had his own cot in his own room, but a terrible sleeper. Would wake several times a night until he was about 6. Baby 2 had her own cot in our room, again would wake through the night. Baby three slept in our bed, we would transfer him into the cot if he didn't fall asleep before him. Baby 4 just slept in our bed, and whoever else had wandered from their own bed, until he was 2. He's three and a half now buy still wanders in every night, so does baby 3 who is now 6 years old. On the odd occasion we still end up with 3 or even 4 kids in bed with us by morning. We have a king sized bed and enjoy every minute that they want to be with us. Before we know it they would have moved out and we will wish for these days. None of mine slept through the night and I really don't care. It works for us!
I was quite sick when I had our son (10yrs now), and I have to say that probably saved my sanity. I couldn't stress about any of the (sometimes conflicting) advice I was given because I just didn't have the energy to try to get it 'right'... He sometimes slept with me, sometimes in his cot. He was in hospital for the first 2 weeks and the nurses had 'trained' him nicely to a 4 hourly rhythm, so that was a great start!
However, he didn't sleep through the night for years! He was quite a little baby and he still needed a night feed for ages. (He went straight back to sleep after that.) The hospital had given him a dummy to encourage his sucking and he couldn't sleep without it. We were so glad when the day came when we got him a little chain for it and he started putting it back in by himself. And after that, he would lose his blanket and didn't pull it up himself but had this chant he used (always the same words and melody) to ask us to put his blanket back on. And then there were night terrors... But at least he was never one of those kids who get up at ungodly hours in the morning ;)
Apart from that, he never had any real problems going to sleep and always needs plenty of sleep. We had to wean him off his afternoon nap when he started school, lol.
Mine is almost two and still wakes around 4:00 am every morning for about 15 minutes. He then sleeps until around 9:30 or 10:00am.
Sarah Beazley My son, Alex is 17 months old now.
0-3 months - Slept for around 2-3 hours at a time and wake to feed.
3-6 months - Went down for 'big' sleep at around 8pm (this was just something that 'happened' we didn't set a bed time for Alex). Wake up for feed at around 2/3am then again around 5am. I thought this was sooo good, getting 6 hours sleep a night!
6 months - Started waking up every 45 mins - 2 hrs.
8 months - Started co-sleeping. Alex started staying up later around this time and would fall asleep anytime between 8 and 10pm. Still waking a few times every night.
12 months - Set a bedtime of 7:30pm. Alex still nursed to sleep. Still waking at night, between 1 and 4 times a night.
Present (17 months) - Bedtime around 7:30. Alex wakes 1 or 2 times a night. Still co-sleeping and Alex still nursing. Sometimes will nurse all night and sometimes not until morning but ALWAYS nurses from around 5am.
It is my opinion that young babies/toddlers are not inclined to sleep through the night and it is totally naturally for them to wake during the night and to wake early.
So good to see someone researching this subject!
Trisha Templeton first month really foggy but was getting 5-6hr stretches during the night after a week. 3hrs, 5hrs,3hrs then catnaps 40min through the day. feeds 2-3hrly daytime, cluster feeding 4-8pm
8pm-4.30am, boob then sleep till 7.30.
first nap 8.30-9.15 (catnaps through morning) 2-3hr sleep in afternoon, may have had a short nap in early evening
8pm-6/6,30am straight sleep
8-9am nap 1
11-12pm nap 2
2-3pm nap 3
cluster feed till 7ish
7.30pm-6am (4 feeds overnight)
2-4.30 nap 2
7-6am (2 feeds overnight - 11pm and 4am)
9ish-10.30am nap 1
7.30-5.30/6am (no feeds overnight occ needs resettling)
9.30-10am nap 1
12-3 nap 2
1 day nap 11-3
16mths -20mths (finally stopped BF cos 7mths pregnant)
7.30/8pm-6am (no feeds but some resettling if needed)
ABSOLUTELY NO SLEEP TRAINING till 14mths and we used dr jay gordons nightweaning to stop the night feeds. we've coslept and fed-to-sleep and now cuddle to sleep.
Katherine Hansford; My daughter is 12 months old.
Nighttime sleep patterns
When she was newborn, she fed every 3 hours on the dot, at 7, 10, 1 and 4 round the clock.
When she was 3 months old she dropped the 1am feed. That was nice. She also dropped the 4am feed for a few days.
When she was 4 months old she went back to every 3 hours.
When she was 5 months old she started feeding every 1.5 hours.
When she was 8 months old I’d had enough and persuaded her back to every 3 hours. This is how it has stayed.
I have come to accept that her sleep pattern is normal and I now feel much better about it than when I was trying to change it or waiting for it to stop.
Since she was 3 months, she has always napped three times a day for half an hour each, at around 9, 12 and 4. I spent a long time trying to change this as I was told that half an hour wasn't long enough. Well, it's never changed. Her dad gets her down for naps by walking her up and down, and often just sits on the sofa holding her while she sleeps. He rather enjoys this quiet time. With me, she naps in the sling on my back. Apparently at nursery they bounce her in a bouncy chair.
When she was small she had a cosleeper bassinet. However, getting her to sleep in it was difficult and she probably spent half her time in my bed. She went into her own room at 6m. She starts the night in her cot and I feed her in her room if I'm not in bed yet. When she wakes around 1 I bring her into my bed for the rest of the night. I would be happy with full time cosleeping except I have this little dream that one day my husband will be able to leave the spare room and come back to bed.
Getting to sleep
Half the time (this is the easy option) she feeds to sleep. The rest of the time it doesn't put her to sleep, so we walk her up and down and she eventually screams herself to sleep. It's not very nice. This has been the same since she was 4m old. She simply won't sleep until she's so exhausted her eyes won't stay open. I tell myself it's because she's such an alert baby....
Hi, my son will be 11 months old next week. He has slept through the night twice - beautiful nights they were! :) one time when he was about 3 months old and once a few weeks ago. He usually goes to sleep in his cot next to my bed then when he first wakes I pull him into the bed with dh and I. When he's sick (like now) he is with me 24/7. On a good night he feeds about 4/5 times but only momentarily. When he is teething/growing he suckles aaaallll night (honestly, I only get about an hour combined without him suckling). On a bad night he'll wake up and fuss so much he'll need rocking and soothing as well as boob, it can last all night... The ONLY way to get him to sleep is to feed him. Sometimes I must hold him too but I usually just let him fall asleep lying next to me.
When he was 1 month old he would sleep all day and be awake a large portion of he night. I had no idea what to do with him! I stupidly pushed him in his pram hoping that was what he wanted. He would easily cry for an hour. I regret it now but I didn't know there was a 'feed them to sleep' option. Thanks doctor who told me I must just leave him and was a bad mother for holding him so much! Night were very very difficult and I didn't even start to get sleep until he was close to 5 months old. I wish I had kept him in the bed and fed him to sleep from day 1!
Hope this info is helpful:)
Birth to Six Weeks: EBF, you could set a clock to him, every two hours until 5 pm then cluster fed from 5-10. Woke at 2:00 a.m. 5:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m.
Six Weeks to Three Months: EBF, same nursing schedule but slept 10:00 p.m. to 5 p.m.
Three Months to Present, with exceptions for illness/nightmares: Formula Fed/weaned with purees slept 7-7.
I never sleep trained him, he had his own very structured routine, but I followed him. I was more mainstream back then, but kept my baby close, although his preference for sleeping in his own space was very clear by 8 weeks.
Birth to Six Months: No rhyme or reason to his routine. Nursed on average every 45 minutes to an hour, cat napped, woke every two hours at night.
Six Months to 1 year: Nursed every one to two hours during the day, nursed every two to three hours at night. Nightweaned at 1 year.
1 year to Present (20 months) still no real nap schedule, despite gentle efforts to encourage one, sleeps 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. with one to two wakings for comfort/change positions.
Rebecca Weddell I don't have exact times, but both of my children have "slept through the night" by 10 weeks old. My definition is that I got a lot of sleep between 12 midnight/1am to 9am/10am. I co-slept, so all I had to do 3-4 times during the night was roll over and nurse them back to sleep and maybe change a diaper or 2, but I never left the bed, I had everything I needed right at the bedside so I never had to get up to fully wake up.