Sacrifice: The Military wife

5 years ago

I found this quote through a girlfriend today. It hit home, not because I think I'm a Saint, but it gives you hope when you're feeling frustrated with your situation.

I'm wondering lately when enough is enough? There comes a point when you've been sacrificing for a little too long. I don't mean it in the general sense, because we all have to make sacrifices, but a specific situation where you give, and give, and give with nothing in return. Sometimes I wonder how military wives who've stayed with their husbands for 20+ years have made it through? It's a small percentage that stay married, to be sure, but they do exist. Maybe the ones that succeeded had easier jobs? Maybe he was deployed less, or they were stationed near family, or he and she just did such a great job of appreciating and caring for each other that they stayed connected. Who knows? 

I think we've passed the "appreciation, sensitivity, compassion, beautiful" point and have become desensitized, bitter, frustrated, and exhausted. I don't think this is a permanent state of mind, or unusual for military wives, but we all have a limit. The Coast Guard has taken enough from my family and I've tolerated the Sailors method of handling CG life long enough. The problem is that you can't just send your resumes out as an active duty member. It's a pretty terrible time to leave the security of a good job + benefits for the perils of the civilian world even if you could. I've considered that some of this could be related to our current living situation, but I think it's more than that. I think it's over 10 years of this life and I can feel us becoming a statistic.

So, what's the solution? I have no idea. I want need some normalcy. I need companionship, a co-parent, and someone to absorb some of the stress. Our civilian friends and family say he needs to leave the Coast Guard and that we shouldn't stress the little things, like finances and security. "Little things" according to people who've been blessed and had a cushion for most of their life. Our military friends think it's nuts to leave at this point in his career. It's probably not an option either way, but it sure would be nice. I think we've paid our dues.

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