The role of a caregiver

5 years ago

My husband recently had a double bypass surgery and after the surgery he was weak for a few days. He could not walk much without getting tired. I took on the caregiver role and I must say to save him from stress, I had to take a lot of stress. 

He could not drive for 6 weeks and as I do not drive, we had to depend on my son to take him to the doctor for his follow ups. One of the questions, I had asked at the rehab class was is it okay for him to be angry and the nurse had said I should try to not get him angry. 

My husband has always been an angry person and he gets annoyed at little things and he is a born complainer.  He complains about almost everything. He would complain about people saying " have a good day" , be it the teller at the bank or the cashier at the grocery store, coz he felt they said it but did not mean it.  He complains when he has to wait his turn at the doctors office.  He complains when he has to fill forms for job applications.  So for me to stop him from getting angry was my main task as a caregiver. 

I do not want to sound like a complainer myself. I  am used to this attitude of his, as we have been married for almost 30 years.  I am so used to all this that half the time when he starts on talking about how I did not do something right, I just prefer to leave the room instead of fight back.  

He has never a good word to say about me though I know he praises me behind my back. I have always been the bread earner in the family, as he has never been able to keep any jobs he got. He blames it on luck, but I think it is mainly due to his attitude and unwillingness to change with the times. 

He is a hardworking person and I must say despite all of the above, I could not live without him. I am very dependent on him. He loves to cook and take care of the housework and I am happy to work. I think that is what marriages are about, adjustment and acceptance, it is difficult to find a perfect man or a perfect woman. 

I think if he were writing this blog, he would have many negative things to say about me too. As I had said in my first blog, I am using blogging to talk about things which I cannot say to anybody else. 

Today was another uneventful day in terms of my job search. I need to get a job fast. 

More tomorrow, Happy reading




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