#RealMenWait4Yes, Because They Know They Are Worthy of It

3 years ago

Rape is when a woman’s right to refuse sex is taken away from her.

Rape is when a woman must pay for her survival with her body.

Rape is when sex is taken whether or not a woman is physically or mentally capable of giving her consent.

Rape is when intimidation is used to compel a woman to engage in sex when she would refuse if she were in an environment where she could otherwise do so safely.

We have the right not to feel like it, not to feel like it with you, not to feel like it right now, but maybe later, and we have the right not to feel like it whether or not we’re married to you.

Our bodies are ours alone.

They don’t belong to the boy we laughed at, they don’t belong to the boy who bought us dinner, they don’t belong to a bunch of guys at a party because we’re too drunk to defend ourselves or to articulate no, they don’t belong to our husbands, and they sure as hell don’t belong to our employers.

Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.

–Margaret  Atwood

It doesn’t matter what she’s wearing. It shouldn’t matter where she is, whether she’s alone, whether it’s dark, whether it’s day, whether it’s night, whether the wind is blowing.

Men are afraid women will swallow them whole and spit them out like yesterday’s wine. Women are afraid men will beat them, batter them, rape and abuse them and then leave them for dead under the black sky of a rural cornfield.

Men are afraid of women’s power of want over them. Women are afraid of a man’s physical power and mental ability to justify taking what he wants and crush her.

Women are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, we’re afraid to be impolite, we’re afraid to be called a bitch for saying no politely, and we’re afraid of being followed back to our apartments and attacked by that guy we tried to politely say no thank you to at the bar, but who just couldn’t walk away and take a polite no for an answer.

Men are afraid of being rejected in front of their boys.

Women are afraid of the guy who can’t walk away, who takes what he wants, who just because he gets an erection, feels it’s a woman’s responsibility to help him take care of it.

Men are afraid to be laughed at? Women are afraid to die.

#RealMenWait4Yes, but many, many boys aren’t taught, aren’t nurtured, aren’t loved by real fathers and real mothers into real men.

Real men respect women’s bodies and they respect women’s minds, and they respect a woman’s ability, liberty and right to choose whether or not to allow a man inside of her. And they respect themselves enough to wait, to earn, to deserve it.

#RealMenWait4Yes because they are worth it and they stand in respect and protection of women until they give themselves—breathless, wanton, with or without love, but they give.

The giving is a gift. And a real man believes he’s worthy and she’s worthy of knowing, of wooing, of waiting for the giving.

 Real men walk away if she laughs, because they know it’s a reflection on her, not them, and a real man knows he deserves better.

A real man deserves the gift of the real woman who is ready to willingly give herself to him.

Because the giving is so much sweeter than taking.


Beating the Statistics: A Mother's Quest to Reclaim Fertility, Halt Autism & Help Her Child Grow from Behavior Failure to Behavior Success is my (prescriptive) nonfiction/ memoir in progress which seeks to examine how empowering himself to be well and choosing a positive attitude every day allowed my grandfather to live to 100, and how his legacy informs my continuing quest to keep my family and myself well and to live an empowered, positive, inspiring life, as he did.


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