Because It's No One Else's Job to Put Me First

3 years ago

Since I have committed to blogging daily for the month of July (connecting with #NaBloPoMo and #BlogBoost), I see this as an opportunity to jot down some of the sticky notes that hang out on the walls of my mind. The notion of "Putting Myself First" used to be a scary "no no" of an idea, but it is gaining more and more traction.

Credit Image: Garry Knight on Flickr

I've noticed for nearly 20 years that it works well in nature. Animals and plants tend to be very grounded in "who they are and who they're not" and as such, focus not just on survival but on exploiting the nuances and (at times extreme) attributes of their essence and situation. It leads to incredible diversity and truly unlimited creativity in habitats, appearance, and lifestyle!

Let's be very clear—one of the reasons I am intrigued with the idea of "putting myself first" is because it terrifies some parts of me. :-) I built much of my life on figuring out how other people think/feel/work so I can hopefully receive enough crumbs from them to survive! But yeah, that is a kid approach to life, not an adult one.

3 Reasons to Put Myself First

The airlines told me to. There are many cases where putting myself first truly is the best strategy for both my survival and that of others. I love the clarity that comes from a basic life-or-death scenario. If the oxygen is depleting, put on my mask first so I can then function and help as many others as possible.

It's no one else's job. Why should I ever expect anyone else to know what I want, when I want it, or how I want it? I certainly don't want to take on that responsibility for anyone else, much less my larger circle of friends and family. I have actually tried! I'm not very good at it, and all it does is exhaust me for no good reason. #ForNoGoodReason, for a little added emphasis.

It doesn't exclude helping others. That's the inherent squiggly energy, right, when you think of putting yourself first? "Oh, how selfish!" Yes, but selfish really belongs more in the "functional" column than the "dysfunctional" column on my personal empowerment spreadsheet. Do you agree or disagree?

Part of why I write this blog is to find like-minded souls who may appear to be normal and mainstream on the outside yet who are looking for a more expanded version of consciousness to understand why they sometimes go against the crowd. In this case, why they long to put themselves first without feeling guilty about it. I am exploring new ways of being in the world and for me, the power of repetition and community are awesome!

Putting myself first is one of the fastest ways to better self-esteem, more energy, and more competency at helping others. Yes, it's easier said than done, but not impossible!


roxanne darling's signature

graphic for in the transition with rox logo

~~Aloha from Maui
In the Transition
Beach Walks with Rox

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