In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris: Kicking Ass, Even if it is My Own

5 years ago

Imagine that one day you decide something is missing. Maybe it’s something you used to do in another life. Maybe what is missing is YOU. Maybe you don't even know what the hell is missing, but you know somethin' just ain't right.

Maybe, then, for some unknown, strange and cosmic reason, you decide to claim or reclaim this missing piece by doing something that you know nothing about. Groovy. But then consider, for a second, that you might want to do something that NO ONE really knows anything about.

Imagine it being so intriguing-scary-amazing, that you are able to mobilize many others to join you. Many others who also know nothing about it.

This is the beginning of modern roller derby. Roller derby for a new millennium. Not your mother’s roller derby.

And so it was, that in the early 2000's, separately but almost simultaneously, women formed roller derby leagues around the United States. First in Texas, then California, New York, North Carolina and on.

For something that no one really knew anything about, the sport spread like wildfire.

Women were looking for more. Roller derby did and continues to empower women to be who they want to be.

And it’s these roots and the ensuing support of and respect for other skaters yearning for something more, and the determination and strength in which modern derby is founded that drives me to join.

To become me again.

Plus it just kicks ass.

But my fear and insecurity are seriously starting to kick in and kick my ass. I feel paralyzed by the what-if’s and the cant’s.

I will start the process in a little over two weeks. And just thinking about that gives me the biggest knot in my stomach. I’m excited but I’m also scared out of my fucking mind.

I can’t even skate, what the hell am I doing?

More than anything, I don’t want to be embarrassed.

Seriously guys, I don't want this to be me:

This is super funny when Chelsea does it, but me? Not so much.

What if I am the only one who can’t skate? If I’m going to feel singled out, I would really much rather be singled out for being awesomeballz.

So then I brought up this video.

And so I know that I need to hike up my hot pants and strap on the skates because Crazy Eyeris does not let anything stop her. Yeah, she may be the only one who can’t skate, but she is a quick study, so that’s not cause for fear, that’s cause for determination. To channel confidence. To kick ass, even if it is just my own.

What do you do when you need to face your fears?

Laine blogs, podcasts, and creates awesome Wordpress customizations

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